13. Start with what is in your control

Welcome to episode 13! Our relationship with money exists in a constellation of things – societal norms and programs, cultural ones, familial and community exceptions and programs, our own experiences with it, and more. 

When healing from survival, money isn’t a friend or even a tool, it is pain. It is violence. It is something you need but never seems to be there for you in the ways that you need.

So how do we go about shifting this relationship while still being in it? Start with what is in your control.

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Transcription

*Rough Transcript*

Welcome to episode 13! Our relationship with money exists in a constellation of things – societal norms and programs, cultural ones, familial and community exceptions and programs, our own experiences with it, and more. So how do we go about shifting this relationship? Start with what is in your control. 

When healing from survival, money isn’t a friend or even a tool, it is pain. It is violence. It is something you need but never seems to be there for you in the ways that you need.

And unfortunately, this is a relationship that is difficult to cut from our lives due to the nature of the societies that many of us live in.

So we have to heal while in the relationship.

 

And that is hard.

But still necessary work.

So how do we go about healing wounds from this relationship with money, while also still receiving and circulating money?

We focus on ourselves.

As I’ve worked to heal my money shit, the majority of it hasn’t been in forgiving money or society for giving the programing it did. It was about giving myself compassion and understanding that these things do influence my life, while also reframing my contextual understanding of these relationships.

By seeing things differently, it created space for healing.

 

But while focusing on me, I don’t hold me to blame. I am merely focusing on what is within my control.

 

We cannot control society – over time we can influence it. But we cannot control it. 

What is within our control is how we think about things and how we react to them.

 

Shifting and healing are within our control.

 

And when we heal our money shit, we begin to change our relationship with money and our experience of it. 

The pain subsides. Our confidence and contentment grows.

And we take back our power in the relationship.

 

It is time for you to be in your power, rather than in a relationship where money has power over you.

For far too long this has been the case.

Debt being used as a way to tether you to a job or location, rather than as a means of growth or as merely the option to pay things off over time. Being trapped between not wanting to appear greedy, while also needing and desiring money because that is what we exchange for goods and services – like homes, food, travel, and learning.

By changing this relationship, we are further creating a new age of empowerment.

But what that means for you is feeling more confident and at ease with money. Knowing your finances. Creating your best weeks, and best months in your business. And circulating money in ways that actually feels good.

You get to have this kind of relationship with money. You get to have this experience of money.

And what I am talking about here is your locus of control – basically how we perceive our relationship to the things happening around us. Do you believe that things happen to you without much control over them? That is more of an external locus of control. Do you believe that you can drive your life and influence the outcomes you experience? Then you may have more of an internal locus of control.
 
 Usually, having an external locus of control is correlated with thoughts like “Why me?” “Why does it even matter?” Which can lead to a sort of “learned helplessness” or a giving away of power.
 Whereas the thoughts correlated with an internal locus of control are more like “How can I make this work?” “I have figured things out before, I can figure this out too.”

In your relationship with money, you are a partner in it. You get to have your own desires, hopes, dreams, and expectations. You get to be an active force. Take back that power in your relationship with money.

And besides shifting that locus of control, the shifting and healing you do within yourself is a huge part of that, as mentioned perviously.

But you don’t have to do it alone either. Doing it together with others is a beautiful thing that multiplies all of our efforts.

By our efforts combined, we can do so much!

Heal Your Money Shit is a container of compassion, understanding, and unconditional love as you journal and sound board your way through 8 modules of learning, application, and healing. You get access to the content and near weekly support sessions for 1 year, with the opportunity to renew community access to special group and the support sessions.

Your relationship with money will change. Your experience of money will change.

I know this because this course uses the same Evaluate, Shift, Heal framework that my 1:1 Money Mindset Coaching clients have used to manifest clients filling outstanding payments, best weeks in business, and best months in business. And the same principles that people using the prompts from Limitless: The Money Mindset Journaling Bundle have used to open themselves to receiving, trusting good things as true, having some of their best money months, and more.

And, we’ve now beta tested the course structure. I’ll be sharing the details of the results in another episode, but the wonderful beta testers experienced transformations and grew in their relationship with money.

Additionally, this isn’t just mindset work, this is energy work. So you will have a guided energy meditation with almost every module. I will lead you through a meditation while sending reiki, and guiding you through doing your own energy work. This exponentially multiples our efforts.

It is time to take back your power.

If you would like to be a part of this next round, it would be an honor to hold space for you and act as your guide.

If you are ready to take back your power, sign up for the waitlist at https://shelbymelissa.com/heal-your-money-shit-waitlist/

And let’s take back your power in your relationship with money.

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