Welcome to Episode 21 of the Money Mindset Shift with me, Shelby Melissa! We are continuing our discussion on the Four Stages of Abundance. The first was possibilities, the second was expanding receiving, and today we are getting into the third stage, Overflow.
As you shift and heal, consistency is created. Once it feels like most of the time there is “enough” for things like bills, but not enough for all the things you want to do – vacations, ordering in, finally getting a new mattress. You move into Overflow. This is where you begin to change the experience so you have more of that “more than enough.”
That experience of enough, but not quite enough for everything, characterizes the beginning of this stage. Because the things like vacations, ordering in, and even finally getting a new mattress even though the old one isn’t completely falling apart yet, feels like excess. And the programs being uncovered may look a little bit different even though they are still tied to worth.
So they may sound like – “Well, I don’t really ‘need’ it.” Which categorizes the desire as frivolous, not needed, and thus not worthy of being held.
Another program is – “Who am I to desire these things, there are people out there with less. I should be grateful.” Again, this touches on worth. But it adds comparison and the use of others to invalidate your desires. It weaponizes the lives of others to keep everyone oppressed.
But the truth is – you are worthy, period. AND you get to fulfill your desires. Same goes for everyone else. (You know, provided that those desires don’t harm others) But your desire to go on vacation or get a new mattress isn’t the cause of economic disparity.
That is the fault of the systems around us that direct the flow of money away from many and to the few. And while there are definitely things that we can do to counteract the systems at play – you having more than enough isn’t to blame.
And yes, you can donate. You can give back. Because once we move out of survival, we finally have energy and time to actually do something about the disparities around us.
But if you stay stuck in this specific cycle – you don’t have the energy to focus on actually doing something about the systems or helping others. Your energy goes to worrying and false scarcity.
That is why it is imperative to do this work now. Not only will it keep you stuck from experiencing more overflow or having it all – even if you somehow move through this stage of abundance, you won’t feel abundant. It will never be enough. And it will further perpetuate the systems that are wounding you and others.
The other two relationship cycles can be present as well, but they look a little different than they have in the previous stages.
The Feast/Famine relationship is categorized by like all the money/none of the money – but there may be less concern for paying bills when the famine part of the cycle is happening. That may be because in the overflow months, you have enough left over for the times of famine. So you are able to “Stay above water” so to speak, but it still isn’t enough to do anything with. You still can’t get that mattress, you’re still struggling to save up for a vacation, etc.
The Spend/Restrict relationship is similar. It is still categorized by periods of spending a lot and then spending nothing as a reaction to that. But the programs informing it may be a little different. So instead of restricting because you splurged and now don’t have money for bills, it may look like restricting now because you feel like “saving is the smart thing to do and you should be doing it” for example, because “what if something happens and you need it.”
I do want to follow up on that by saying that being prepared is great. I didn’t say it to knock saving. I love saving. I love to have things in savings. But there is a sneaky fear that crops up here of “something bad must happen because this is too good.”
And that is what I am getting at. It’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Because you are allowed to have good experiences. You are allowed and get to have nice things. Everyone does. There is more than enough out there to allow for that. If there wasn’t it wouldn’t really be abundance would it?
So, that is to say, that can come up too. lol
Since we are talking about cycles though, it is important to note that just because you are experiencing one of these cycles – it doesn’t mean that it is your fault. And doing the mindset work doesn’t mean that it is your fault that you are having the relationship with or experience of money that you are. So this is your side note to not take on that blame or shame. You are just merely taking back some control in these things. The systems that perpetuate these relationship cycles and experiences of money are at fault.
But the systems aren’t going to change themselves. So it is up to you to choose to do the work.
Now, what does “the work” look like at the third stage of abundance?
Well, it is characterized by releasing shame around having money, comparison especially towards people who appear to have less than you, and coming to terms with the dissonance of what Overflow was supposed to look like according to society.
As stated earlier, you will probably find yourself doing more work around the push/pull relationship cycle. Then both feast/famine and spend/restrict cycles may still be present but look different.
So you are still journaling. Still being the nonjudgemental observer. While leaning more into trust. Especially trusting yourself to make decisions in your business and with money.
There is a lot that can come up, more than I’ve been able to dive into here. So, if you are in the stage of Overflow, let’s hop on a free discovery call!
We can talk more about this stage and what moving through it looks like for you!
The link for the discovery call is – https://shelbymelissa.as.me/?appointmentType=21395541
It’s kind of a weird link, so it’s located in the show notes as well.
Let’s hop on a call. Let’s talk about it. Let’s get you the support that you desire because your desires are okay and allowed to be met. Let’s get you the support that you desire so that you can move through this stage and move into the next one.
After Overflow comes Having it all! We will go into the fourth stage in the next episode so make sure to subscribe and have those notifications on so you don’t miss it!