Shelby: Hello, welcome to this episode of the money mindset shift. Today. I have Ardelia with me who I’m so happy to introduce. Ardelia Lee is a Human Design Projector, adventurer, and guide for people who are interested in using Human Design to create a more aligned life. You can find her at thatprojectorguide.com where she has the 12 day projector pivot challenge for walking Human Design Projectors through the basics of their design and how to begin to live in more alignment with it. As a side note, like just as a projector myself, it is a challenge, so, please use her guide.
Uh, Ardelia is also the creator and voice behind the, That Projector Life Podcast, featuring stories, tips, strategies, and more to help you live your best, most aligned and fun projector life. And all of the links will be in the show notes. So you can find Ardelia and all the places- her website, Instagram, Facebook– and exactly where you can find the podcast and the projector pivot challenge on her website. So welcome Ardelia.
Ardelia: Hi, thank you so much for having me and I am officially going to hire you to be my spokesperson now.
I’m just here to gas you up. Um, also, like I say, gas Ardelia up, but I really just mean like, being honest about who she is, because I think she’s amazing. So thank you for joining me on the podcast today, and I’m looking forward obviously to your thoughts on money, mindset, and business. Um, so we’ll just jump in with the first question.
What does money mindset mean to you? Like how would you explain it to somebody.
Ardelia: That’s a really good question. And when I, when you asked me that I was like, oh my gosh, I don’t even know because it’s not something that I’d really sought to think about before. And the more that I kind of considered it, I was like, you know what?
I really, to me, I think money mindset is everything to do with money. It is how I make money. It is how I view money. It’s how I feel, both like energetically and emotionally towards money and how I feel when I spend it as well, because like all of those things come together and it’s just so interesting to notice that.
So I think that’s how I’d describe money mindset. It’s like anything having to do with money for me.
Shelby: I love it. It’s like so nuanced, but like simple at the same time. Like, it’s just, it’s all of it, but also, it’s the things. Right. So, yeah. I love that. And yeah, I agree. I think it’s not something that we tend to think about very much.
Like one we’re not really taught, I think to think about, not everybody is taught to think about it. I’m sure there are people who have like very conscious money people in their lives and they’re like “Here” and you’re like, “Great! Thank you.” But I don’t think like in general, at least US society, right. That we’re really taught to be conscious thinkers about it.
There’s a lot of like shame and blame and then like pressure around like responsibility and things. So it gets kind of hidden in the closet or like under the rug or like behind the couch, like talked about maybe in hushed voices behind closed doors, sorta thing.
Ardelia: Yes. Yes. And I, so, okay. You mentioned pressure and that makes me think about, I feel like every time you and I talk, we always like, the whole like, worth and value in doing things to get money comes up probably cause we’re both Projectors.
Ardelia: But, you know, talking about pressure. So I’ve got an open root center in my Human Design, and that’s going to put pressure on me to do things. So you have a defined root center. So you also feel that pressure naturally it’s part of your design. So for me, I can amplify that pressure. And in the early years of my business, when I was not making enough money or even much, money, my thinking was “the more I do, the more money I’ll make.” Right. Cause that’s often how we’re raised is it’s the more you do the more you make. And that wasn’t true for me. And now, you know, through my Human Design lens, I know it’s like, okay, I’m a projector. So. I don’t, I really need to or, like, have to do all that much to make money.
And then it’s like those feelings of guilt that Projectors also tend to struggle with like, wait a second. I’m not, you know, working as much as my husband and you know, I’m not making as much as he is right now, but that’s like, my goal is to make as much as he is. And it’s like, hang on, hang on a second. That feels weird. And so there’s also that component as well, being like, you know what it is okay to not have to, you know, work a whole lot and still receive money.
Shelby: Okay. Now I know people listening to the podcast aren’t going to be able to see this, but like your cats are cleaning each other. It’s so cute. Oh, now they’re fighting. That’s great. Just side note.
Um, but I, I totally agree. And I think that comes into the next question, which we’ll spend the majority of the time talking about I’m sure. Cause, you and I can talk, uh, obviously, um, and that is like how doing the money mindset work changed your life in business, but it’s almost also really for you, like taking also on the lens of the Human Design, in conjunction with this, um, desire to consciously understand yourself at the same time. And like, why you feel that pressure. Why does it feel different for me? And. You can correct me if I’m wrong and please elaborate more, but it almost sounds like those things like coincided a bit more.
Ardelia: Yes. Yeah. So I remember there, there was a day. It was like the day things, I really realized that things had shifted for me.
I was in Ohio with my in-laws and my husband and my girls, and we were just hanging out there. And I looked at my husband and I said, “you know what? I just feel better.” I just, I felt happier. It was just like, I had been living, excuse me, I’d been living under a cloud for so long that it is like things that, you know, the clouds finally parted and the sun was coming out and I was like, what is this feeling? Is this like happiness or contentment? Or I don’t even know, but it’s because, you know, we didn’t- back in my early business days, that was a really big struggle for me. Somehow, somehow my husband and I always had the money we needed. I, I don’t know how I was not like consciously manifesting anything.
Um, so I’m like by the grace of God, we had whatever money we need or universe, whatever you want to put in. Um, but then, you know, with Human Design, it kind of allowed me to become more intentional about understanding how I operated and kind of what I needed to do or in my case, not do since I’m a projector to really align with my energy and to begin to kind of get that traction of money going in my business. That make any sense? That was very long and windy.
Shelby: No, no, it probably, makes sense to me. Maybe in part, because we’ve, I’m sure we’ve talked about this many times. Uh, and I think, I, I don’t know. I almost feel like I remember you talking about that moment before. Being in Ohio and being like, oh, I’m happier. Like, and it is, it is hard to go back to the pressure of like doing like, uh, I call it the pressure to perform, produce, and profit, especially in like capitalist societies. Right. You’re performing a role and you’re also a mother. And so I’m sure many other people who are parents and particularly mothers can relate to like the performance of being in that role.
And then on top of that, running a business. And there’s like a box of like, this is what you’re supposed to do. And in learning your Human Design, you were like, that’s why that box feels not great because it wasn’t about the doing. It was more like, it was really just about like being in alignment. And a lot of times that’s not doing that’s being. And the pressure to produce is like those outcomes, right? Like, and especially profit as a business owner, but the outcomes of that money making right. And the pressure I’m like, I have pressure, like it’s all different. Mine’s not to match my husband’s income it’s to fully support us so he can do whatever he wants. Right. And that’s, I know like, I just want to set aside aside gender norms there.
Right. Just set aside the pressure of gender norms so that we can like both be in alignment with who we are. He’s a manifestor. So like for all of our Human Design, know how people he’s a manifestor so he also operates quite differently. Right. And so, yeah, so, but we still experience that same pressure to be producing and profiting.
Ardelia: Yes. And I love, so talk about pressure, you and I, with our conversation this morning that I was struggling with, I’m sitting here like Shelby, I feel this pressure to create, and this pressure to, you know, do something in a very specific way. And so that, you know, even though. I am in a better place, you know, financially with my business, I’m still experiencing that pressure.
And it’s very interesting. I feel like, you know, this money mindset and like everything in life essentially is something you have to revisit and come back to. So now I’m making all these connections. I can’t even, I’m going to have to go process when we’re done. I had already given up on working. I was like, I have had so many shifts this morning. I just can’t. And now talking with you, it’s like, holy crap. There’s another one.
Shelby: Oh, my gosh. Yes. I feel that I, so you and I have also been talking about selling, right. Which like goes into what, like, to money mindset and everything. And I drew a card earlier about like the highest expression of selling for me.
And I’m using, for anybody who knows that it’s the Astral Realms, um, Crystal Oracle, and Ardelia is going to be able to see the card, but it’s Malachite and it’s, eudaimonia.
I don’t know how to pronounce it, but yeah. Um, it’s like a Greek philosophy term, I guess. Um, so I forget which one of it, Plato, one of those guys, right. One of those guys. Um, so yeah, just like. It’s just a further on learning there, you know, like there’s more there, it’s another layer and yeah. So like, I love that you highlighted that because. It’s again, it’s that pressure. Right. And now we’re looking at the pressure of perfectionism, which is to like complete something. Right. And be like, I’m done with it. I’m the expert. And then it’s like, no, we’re humans. We’re going to have to keep going. We’re gonna have to look at this again. Because we don’t exist in a vacuum. And we’re still getting those contrary messages all the time.
Ardelia: Yes. Yes. And I’ve been thinking about like arrival in terms of like, “I have arrived” and it’s like, I don’t know if one can ever truly arrive. Especially for me, like me talking about myself, one being me. I don’t know if I will ever truly “arrive”, because there’s just so much to, to learn and to reflect on and, I dunno. So that’s, that’s been my contemplation as well in terms of like the whole, the money mindset or really anything else, you know, being a projector, learning about myself, like even you know parenting there’s, there’s so much there, you know?
Shelby: Yeah. Yup. And like, especially, we’re just going to sit on parenting for a second.
I’m not a parent, but like, you have this tiny human who’s now growing, right? So like what worked too may not work. You have to have different strategies and mindsets and like perspectives that you’re coming from at each life stage. And even from moment to moment, and as a business owner, your business is growing too.
It’s a growing being. So like what worked to start your business might be different from what’s working to grow and build your business versus like expanding your business later, you know, when it hits that point and we can kind of extrapolate those, I think those stages into money mindset. Like you’re creating your money mindset, you’re growing, and building your money mindset. You’re expanding it.
And we can do that with like your Human Design understanding too. And I know you’re doing a bit of that right now. Like with the um, see like, I hadn’t even like ever thought of this and you brought it up, but the like difference between the red and the black. So like the body and the mind, I don’t, I always forget, which is which, so please elaborate for us.
Ardelia: Yeah. So, um, in Human Design you can, so what, what you look at, like when you see the body graph, that is both the red, which is the body and the mind, which is the personality. And when you put those together, that is when you get like, you know, I am a self-projected projector or you’re an emotionally defined projector. That’s where we get everything.
But there are different views that you can take, like within the software tool. So I like to use talking body graph, but you can also use like genetic matrix and you can separate out the design, which would be the body part. That would be who you really are, like your “true self”. And then there’s your mind, which is who you think you are, how you view yourself.
And sometimes those don’t always match up. So like my design, I’m a self projected projector. Um, that’s my Human Design with both my body and my mind put together. In my body, I am still a self projected projector. So I have my throat, my G-Center defined, but in my mind, I am a reflector. So, and I told you this, but mentally I can not define myself.
So you were like, Ardelia, I need a bio for the show. And I’m like, oh, can I get back to you? Because I can’t define myself mentally, but when I’m talking things out as a self-projected projector is supposed to do, I figure things out and it’s like, oh my gosh, that’s correct. But if I sit here and try to reason my way into who I am or define myself, I can’t do it because I don’t have that mental definition there.
Um, okay. So is that explan- explanation satisfactory?
Shelby: Yes. Yes, that’s perfect. And I think it further highlights. Like we all have to do money mindset in our own way. So for me, that’s been journaling. And that’s, that’s really easy for me. I have found a way to like journal and almost create it like it’s a conversation between myself and my mind.
Um, but as you were just saying, speaking, like talking it out and talking through things is actually a lot more helpful. So having somebody that – and this is for all of our listeners here – it might just be that for you, the journal isn’t the thing. You may need somebody that you can trust, that you have built a relationship with who is going to be non-judgemental, um, to kind of act as that like sort of sounding board, even if like, I think in our conversations, like, even if I’m not always giving you feedback, you’re able to talk through the process yourself. So like giving that space, but also like, You can, you can agree or disagree, but it seems like also sometimes having those reflections is helpful too.
Ardelia: Yes, yes, it is. For sure. And another thing that I’ve noticed I have been doing is separating my mind and its reaction from like my body and my body’s reaction.
So when I you know, when I go through something or like someone decides to like, cancel their membership, My mind freaks out. It’s like, oh my gosh, why did they do that? Do they not like us to not like my stuff? Oh my gosh. And so I just kind of separate myself from that mind and I’m just like, okay, you’re going to freak out and that’s okay. You can go over there in that corner and do it. Totally get it. When you’re done, we can reassemble and we’ll go from there. But it’s really funny to just kind of watch my mind be like, “oh my gosh, what is going on? My life is over!” No, no it’s going to be okay. And I think that is kind of, I don’t even know, like what, how to explain that in Human Designed terms, but it’s just really interesting.
And then we come back together and it’s like, oh, we’re okay now. We’re fine.
Shelby: Yeah. I don’t know how to talk about it in Human Design terms either. But my thought was like, it’s like parenting your brain. Like you’re like, okay, cool. I love you. Great. Have your emotions, go have your thoughts basically, and then when you’re ready, you can come back and we can have a conversation. Like that’s like totally how it felt to me, uh, which I love because like, I’m. Uh, our Human Designs are a little bit different, but I take a very similar approach. Like you are not your brain. Like your brain is a part of you, but you are not your brain.
And so it is going to have those reactionary things and we can cultivate that space in between. Right. And that’s kind of what you were saying. It’s like, go over there. You can have your feelings. It’s great. And then, you know, like, come back, come back and join us when you’re ready. Right. So like, that’s that space in between the, like the pre-programmed brain freak out, which is totally like allowed, right?
Like your brain is allowed to do that. That’s what it does. And then having the body awareness and coming back into the moment and being like, okay, here’s, here’s actually what’s happening. Like we’re still safe. We’re still good. Thank you brain. I appreciate it. You know, and then you’re able to move forward.
So no, I really liked that and I think that’s really helpful.
Ardelia: Yeay, I was – and it’s so interesting. Cause I just, I just kind of started doing it. Like, we’re just going to see how this works and it’s been really interesting to kind of dissect those two things and just to give my brain that space to process things.
Yeah. There’s like a dot that’s connecting.
I think it also takes away the blame and shame. Like, if we, when we identify with the brain, then it’s my reaction, my thoughts. And then we have like blame and shame around. Like, I shouldn’t be having these thoughts. I shouldn’t be reacting in this way. And it’s like, nah, like you don’t have conscious control over all of the connections your brain has made. Right? There’s like, I don’t even know how many bajillion neurons in there making connections and like firing all the time and like the hormones that are going on, you know, like, and if anybody’s like me, I take medication to help those, uh, neurons fire in certain ways.
And that’s not something I have like, I can’t just like sit here and be like, tap, tap, tap. Hey neurons, can you, can you like re uptake or not re-uptake those neuro-transmitters for me. So like, we don’t always have like that control. And so it feels like by creating that space, as you’re saying, like it also gives space to like, let go of the shame and blame that sort of happens as our brain does, what brains do. It’s like taking blame and shame for the way your stomach digests, you know, like it just does what it does, you know, and we have to figure out ways to like, Live with it or support it or whatever. And it’s not you, it’s sure it’s a part of you, but that’s not you, right?
Ardelia: Yes. I love that. I love that.
Shelby: Yeah, I do too. I like that we came to that point. Yeah. So cool. So just open-ended question. Are there other ways that you’ve noticed, um, your money mindset, like shift over time as a business owner or other ways that Human Design has shifted your mindset as a business owner.
Ardelia: Yeah. So I would say one of the ways that my mindset has shifted or the way that I view money has shifted is that, what I personally consider to be a large investment has changed over time. And that’s been really interesting cause like at the beginning $99 a month for like a membership was like a really expensive thing.
And now it’s, to me, you know, I have shifted a little to where it’s like, yes, I’m still going to consider it and, you know, feel into it obviously, but it’s not like this huge decision like it was in my earlier days. So it’s just that realization that my, my, I guess my frame of view, if you want to call it has shifted a little. And so what I consider is, you know, more expensive versus not.
Um, so that’s been really interesting to see and, I would also say I’m more willing to invest in myself and my business. Um, although I still, I don’t feel as guilty about it as I did, but I still do feel guilty sometimes. Um, but it, the, the benefits or like the transformations that I have received from my investments have definitely made it worth it.
And my husband is very supportive. He’s never, he’s not really ever been like, no, I don’t like that. I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’ve just been like, this is what I want to do. And he’s like, “Okay!” Um, so that, that has been really helpful as well to not have to manage his response on top of that.
Shelby: Yeah. Yeah. We’re going to clap for your husband for Steven.
Um, but yeah, like it is, it’s a whole extra layer of like you would then be having to manage like somebody else’s like thoughts and expectations that are kind of put on you, that projection. Um, so yeah, that’s, that would be extra difficult. Uh, but I’ve noticed those changes too.
So like at one point I think I was paying like $74 (a month) for a program. Like I had been given like a special payment plan and like everything. Like I was like so grateful, but that was like a stretch for me at that time. And now I’m like, Oh, like that’s easy. Like, like, yes, we still think about like, is this in alignment for me? Is this something I want to invest in? Like, et cetera, but it’s not the monetary amount at that level that is the, the real question. Right? Because at some point. Yeah, it does like, it’s like, do I do this because of that monetary investment, right. Or really do I not do it because of that monetary investment?
And I want to say like for everybody it’s okay. Like it’s okay to not take that step. There’s no pressure to be stretching yourself with purchases just because right. Um, there’s a, I’m in a program right now and it was definitely a stretch to invest in. Um, but I didn’t invest in it merely because it was a stretch to invest in. Like I also saw the other goods, the other like ROI things and was like, I do really want that. I know this is a stretch I’m going to make it work. Um, but that, that shifts over time, like, so that’s $597 a month going from like 74 to like $597 is like a big difference. Like I’ve noticed that too, that like our perspective sort of like changes, like based on like what we get comfortable with and accustomed to.
Ardelia: And I know something else for me that I don’t, I don’t always feel comfortable talking about because it, I, my, my thing about money mindset or my one of my hangups is like, shouldn’t in your money mindset be like, okay, let me, I’m going to get to the point I promise.
Um, but like with, with law of attraction, right? It’s like you have high vibrations and everything so that you attract awesome stuff. Right. And it’s like, my money mindset really began, you know, it started to shift before we sold our house and moved in with my mom. After we sold our house, you know, we had the money from the sales so it’s like, holy crap. We are financially secure for the first time in like forever. And it was just, it was an incredible feeling. And that, also really helped my money mindset. It was actually having that financial security. So while I did, you know, do that work of like, you know, just being aware of how I viewed money and understanding, okay, I am in lack, I am in that scarcity mode, it was partially grounded in reality because there were months where it’s like, if we don’t get an extra, you know, X amount of money, soon we are going to be in deep doo-doo. Um, So, I don’t know. I don’t, I don’t know how that relates, but I just wanna say that that’s kind of how I was able to shift that is that got that huge lump sum and it’s like, holy crap, financial security is here.
Shelby: Yeah, no, it does it. And I relate it to being like in survival mode. So like when you’re in survival mode, that is very much based in reality. Right? Like you have to, also be expending so much energy thinking about like, okay, what bills need to be paid? How much money needs to be in the account? And when, because you have to keep track of when the bills are coming out, not just that they do.
Right. Um, and sometimes it’s like, okay, well, I know I have like five leniency days for this bill, but this one is like a hard date. Right. So like, I need to make sure I pay this one first or like this one’s like the home versus like internet. So like maybe, you know, like we can get a few days without internet if like, to be shut off.
Like there’s very real decisions that are made in survival mode. Um, maybe we can cut back on groceries this week. Like there’s so many things and- it’s not, I want to highlight that, like, it’s not anybody’s fault for being in that space because the system has set it up in that way. Like the fact that you need money for all of those things, isn’t your fault.
And the fact that like your job or whatever situation you’re in isn’t meeting those needs, isn’t your fault. Um, but there is a very real moment when, like we move from the, not enough to enough. And sometimes we can like sit on that space for a long time too. And sometimes like, it’s like, we have to catch up.
Right. So like, if it’s an incremental increase, maybe like there were definitely like years where, Um, especially when Kyle was in grad school that like, we didn’t go to the dentist. Right. So now we’re having to catch up on dentist things. Right. And so the it’s just like, it’s an offset, right? It’s a, am I paying for this now? Or am I paying for it later?
And, um, Yeah, we have to make those decisions and that’s no blame or shame on anybody. Um, but it’s very real when like now you have enough and you have enough to kind of start working on those back things and still have more than enough where you’re like, oh, so now all that energy that you have to expend, like managing all of those things, all the emotions that like high stress emotions, right, can go in like shifts. And now you have that freedom that you were talking about, where like now you have relief. Now you have like, okay, now I don’t have to worry about basic needs anymore. At least quite to the same extent. And once we’re in that space of security, we can kind of, it shifts a lot more. Right.
So it’s like, we can’t- I learned this about trauma. You can’t really heal from trauma until you feel safe. Um, and that’s not always like a conscious thing, right? Like that can be very unconscious, but you’re still very much unsafe when you’re in that surviving mode. And it can also take time for your body to adjust to this more secure thriving space.
And, um, so yes. That was my kind of long rant here about like the differences in the spaces and like everything, but just to like further highlight that yeah. What you experienced is legit. Like there is a huge shift that occurs like once, um, that financial reality changes.
Ardelia: Yeah, and I, I, so two things, first of all, um, You know, talking about how having money makes people just feel better, right? People are like money doesn’t solve everything. It’s like, no, but I would much rather be unhappy with $2 million than unhappy with $2. So there’s that. And then I, I read the news and I’ve been keeping up with all the studies that people are doing and like about pilot income programs, or just pilot programs where some government just gives people money.
And the study findings are like, people actually don’t spend that money on drugs or alcohol. They spend it to pay for their kids’ food, pay for rent, pay the bills. And it’s like, you mean, you’re telling me that when people get money, their life improves? I just can’t believe that like, duh. So, but now we’re finally, you know, talking about Human Design, we are, the collective is now beginning to take an interest in people’s wellbeing and the collective tends to move very slowly. We need to make sure that the pattern of, you know, if people get money, their life improves, we need to make sure that pattern holds true over time so that we can make a good decision for everybody.
But that has been really exciting to see. And it’s kind of been like, well, no duh guys. Of course, when you give people money, their lives get better. Um, so there was that, and then, one thing that I noticed came up for me is I got, so we got me a new desk recently and I wanted a little pen holder. Yes, it’s awesome. I wanted a little pen holder for my desk.And, I, because of, you know, when, back when I had my early business and we just did not have much money, we had a very Spartan everything, right. It’s like we don’t buy fru-fru things. We don’t go out to eat ever. You know, my husband rented a DVD from Redbox one time and you know, it’s like a dollar. I cried, I freaked out and cried. I was like, we don’t have the money for you to be doing that. And it was a dollar. So. That was, that was a big thing.
But back to my pen holder, I was like, I could actually buy a cute pen holder. I, I have the money, you know, it’s like, it was like 20 bucks, if that, so it wasn’t a huge expense, but I just never thought about it until then. I was like, oh my gosh, I can make my desk look pretty! Because pretty things, I hadn’t really prioritized them for a while because I was focused more on that function. Is it functional? Is it cheap than, Does it look nice? So that just noticing that shift of me being like, I could have pretty things was nice.
Shelby: It is. It really is.
Yeah, because it, it very much does go from like, does this meet the need, to check the boxes of like, it works, it’s functional and it’s cheap because that is our primary constraint. Right. Versus like, I have more freedom to aesthetically invest in my space in function and in like visual, sensory aesthetic.
Which are super important. Like we need enrichment. Like we need those things. We need to be able to look at our space and feel joy and like satisfaction from it. And like it does wear on you because you do now have to prioritize your needs. And a lot of times society, the want desire, Right. That one, that we even have that category.
And then two that, like what things get put in there? Like an aesthetic penholder versus like, well, you need a pen holder, but you want it to be aesthetic. Like it just like shifts and then like buying stuff for ourselves is a want and a desire versus like, it is a need to an extent, a lot of things are needs depending on how we want to view them. Right?
It’s like, one of my clients is like buying like clothes that she really enjoys for herself. And I was like, technically, that’s kind of also an investment in your business. Right. You’re showing up, you know, you want to feel good like that. We want to see, like, we like seeing people looking pretty and like having fun and like these things, right. As humans we’re like, yes. Right. Or as visual humans? Right. Um, and so. Like we want that. And she probably sounds more confident in all of these things. Right? Like she presents differently in all sorts of sensory ways. And, but yeah, she also just gets to dress how she wants, because like, it helps her feel good.
That was something that my husband’s always been good about is he’s like, well, it makes you happy. Right. That’s enough. Um, but when you’re stuck in that survival, that’s not enough. Right. So it’s very, very different. It’s a huge shift and it’s really sad that like that’s even the case, but we’re all changing it.
Yes. And when I, when we talk about, or think about money, mindset, or even talk about money, you know, me, I go into like, my collective view and desire of like, everybody just needs what they want and like, or, you know, we just, all of our basic needs need to be met as a bare minimum. And then we can all go from there.
Right. But it’s like, I just want everybody to have what they need. And then I would be happy, super, super happy. Like that is my goal.
Shelby: Yeah. And like, you’re doing that. I think that reflects in like your work as, um, like, as a Human Design expert and in like… so if we think of like, Projectors, right. Cause that’s primarily who you work with, but everybody right? In that, like what are the barriers to getting your needs met? What do we actually have control over? Well, I can look at my energy and I have control over like how I be using my energy. Right. Um, so like you are doing that.
And we’re all doing that in different ways, like mine’s to directly talk about money, but like also I have so many other passions and things.
Right. And so like we all, I think, oh, I think I wrote this down at one point and I think I put it in the front of my journal because when I start a new journal, I always write like previous things. Um, Okay. So I think this applies to you too. And I think this applies to a lot of us.
“We aren’t just changing the energy of and around money. We’re also changing how we live. More compassionately and with deeper regard for one another. There’s so much oppression and just gripping onto what one has out of greed and fear.”
And I think for majority of people, I think it’s fear. Um, and for many, the fear is justified, right? We were just talking about the survival piece.
“We have to act in accordance with remedying this. We have to change our relationship with resources and each other. And this is one, just one way for us to do that.”
Like, my work is just one way. It’s not the way it is just one way. And Ardelia’s way is also another way. Right. And we can use them in conjunction with each other. Like, it doesn’t have to be all or like all in one, right? Like it’s all facets and pathways and like, Why not all of them, so,
Ardelia: oh my gosh. Okay. Can I share something that may be completely off topic, but kind of ties in?
Shelby: Yes, no, please. All the time.
Ardelia: So my husband and I started watching, um, Babylon five, which is like a space star, Trekkie kind of thing. Um, but it’s not star Trek. So we were watching it in the most recent episode they brought in, um, like organic it’s an organic technology. So it’s it’s technology that has organic components and it like hijacks this one person. So like it graphs to him and he becomes like a soldier guardian person. And his mission is to protect.
So he starts killing people on the space station and the doctor comes in and he gives background on the people who created this technology. He said the military, or like the extremists who were running the government at that time, created this idea of a perfect person or being for this, this race. And the bio weapons would only respond to a person who fit this ideal perfection. And so they were, you know, these people were attacked and their bio weapons were deployed, but they didn’t end up listening to anybody because what they outlined was an ideal instead of a reality, because you have to like, what defines, you know, How do you define a perfect human, right?
And that, you know, we can see this very much in our own past, just on earth. We don’t even have to go outside of earth to look at this, but it was really interesting because those bio weapons did not find any one being on that planet who fit with this ideal that people created. And so there was a point here and I might talk myself into it, but I think it was just that there is no one way right?
That’s the connection. There is no one way to fix money mindset or to, you know, do anything really, right. And trying and striving to create just one path and holding onto it really narrowly, like, you know, people are trying to do, that creates issues and it will destroy us. I know I talked about that, the sphincter clenching of the tribal with those resources and that’s part of what we’re seeing, is people who do have, are holding onto what they have. And they’re holding onto these, these kinds of these old ways. And those of us who are like, okay, but that doesn’t work for me. They’re not really wanting to make space for a different way, whether that’s a different way of being or a different way of making money or a different way of thinking.
It’s just, they’re not going to allow it. And when… There’s a really good quote from that show. It was like when the, when the people who really just are like straight and narrow and refuse to see a different way when they do that, it’s kind of like they become the enemy, but they said it in a better way and not, I don’t want to make anybody as an enemy, but anyways, that was, that was my contribution.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
Shelby: Thank you for having us at your Ted Talk. I love it. I love it. Uh, yeah, no, I think, and I just, for everybody, like, I encourage everybody to use sphincter clenching now. Like that is like, when you said that, I was like, oh yeah, like I laughed. I was, yeah, it was great. But yeah, that’s, that’s very much what it is like.
And I think like, we feel that body reaction right. Of like, And we’re like clenching, like you can’t see what I’m clenching my hand for everybody on the podcast listening. Um, it does happen, right. And it does happen in reaction to change and things, but like all of us are a part of it. I want to reaffirm that to everybody. Is that like, whatever pathway you are taking. Whatever way that is showing up within you or, you know, outside of you by like actions you’re taking, we are changing it. We are moving towards it. Sometimes it’s slow. Sometimes it’s like a tectonic plate.
Like they’re always kind of moving and sometimes they’re moving really, really, really, really slow. And sometimes they get stuck a little bit, but then sometimes they shift a lot and that’s we get that, jerk like earthquake thing kind of happening, like yeah, it happens all at different rates.
Um, and like, I think this goes back to like doing the mindset work, running your business. Sometimes things feel very slow, but it does shift. And sometimes you do have that moment, like Ardelia said, where you’re like, oh, I’m happier. Like, and you have that realization. Um, so. And sometimes it is like really scary all of a sudden cause like it’s like, why is this tectonic plate moving so quickly, but it’ll slow down again. Um, so just keep going, ride the waves. And you’ve got this, like whatever this is for you, it’s working out. It’s hard. It’s sucks. It’s not always easy, but it does shift. So
Ardelia: I love that. Can I, can I end with a quote?
Shelby: Yes, do it please. We will end with a quote.
Ardelia: So you’re, you’re amazing, you know, everybody is part of this and. You know, it’s, it’s awesome. It made me think of the quote that Gandalf shares in one of the Hobbit movies. And he says, yes Hobbit – he says “Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check. But that is not what I have found. It is the small, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay, small acts of kindness and love.”
So, I mean, we don’t have to go out and like, big massively change the world by doing massive things. You just, you, you be, you, you do, what’s correct for you. And you’re doing an amazing job
Shelby: Round of applause. That’s our end point. Please take the words of the great Gandalf with you as you go about your day today or, you know, move forward with your life. Like the ordinary things, the things that were, we can enact right in ourselves, in our environment, you know, keep going.
Thank you, Ardelia for joining us.
Ardelia: Yes. Thank you so much for having me and for letting me go off on tangents.
Shelby: Oh, this is- Everything is tangents. This whole podcast is tangents. Not everybody knows that because we like you know, it seems all streamlined, but it does all come together. Tangents are very relevant.
So thank you for gracing us with your tangents.
And, uh, we will see everybody in the next episode.