31. Interview with Olivia: How your relationship with yourself affects your relationship with money

In this episode, I interview Olivia Lee who is a feminine leadership and transformational coach for soul led, heart centered, ambitious women. Olivia’s approach to money mindset is to focus on self-empowerment. She does this by relating to the 7 feminine archetypes (which are covered in this episode), working with her ancestors, and healing trauma. You won’t want to miss this episode!


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Shelby: Yeay! welcome to this episode of the money mindset shift. I am super pleased to introduce you all to Olivia. Olivia Lee is a feminine leadership and transformational coach for soul led, heart centered, ambitious women. 

She helps you build confidence in your worth, conquer your inner critic and break free from past wounds, traumas and others expectations. That’s a big one. So you can create and live a life that you truly love. And that’s in alignment with your truest self. Her wish is to have every individual see the light that other, seeing them and for each individual to see their true worth and reach their highest or fullest potential. You can learn more about these things by following her on IG and TikTok at limitlessthriver or her website, limitlessthriver.com.

All the links will be in the show notes and welcome Olivia. 

Olivia: Thank you for having me. I’m excited. 

Shelby: Me too! I’m so excited to have you here. Um, and thank you to, so thank you for joining me on the podcast and making the time to do so. And I am also very excited to have you, and I’m looking forward to your thoughts.

So I like to start with this question. What does money mindset mean to you? So like if you were to explain it to somebody else, what does it mean to you? What does it look like in your life? That sort of thing. 

Olivia: Yeah, I love this question. Um, I would say money mindset to me is the relationship you have with money and by cultivating a healthy relationship with money, you can create abundance in your life.

Shelby: That was so succinct.

So. What? Okay. So we’re going to like, come off the questions a little bit here. Cause you mentioned like healthy relationship. Right. And I know you kind of dive into a lot with like relationship with self, so there’s gotta be some like correlations there there’s gotta be some connections between like relationship with self and relationship with money.

I’m thinking.

Olivia: Definitely, definitely. So the relationship we have with ourselves is a direct reflection on our relationship with money. And so. I particularly focus on the feminine archetypes, um, that lie within each women or feminine identifying. And when I think about money mindset and having a healthy relationship with it, it taps into a few of them.

So there’s the queen, the queen, and believing that if money were to be in your hands, that you would use it for. So that money is trusting you. And another method that I have to build a healthy money mindset is personifying money. So does money trust you? Does money trust you with them? And if you are embodying your queen energy, um, money trusts you that you will use them for good.

Then there’s the other archetype, the lover where, um, I know this is, this is something I’ve heard and also have taken on where your relationships with yourselves, but also with other people. Intimate relationships. How would you treat a lover? So if money was a lover, how would you treat them? And we could go into that.

There’s also attachment styles to money. Um, but those are just a few of the archetypes that, um, I talk about with my clients when it is in regards to money and cultivating a healthy money mindset. So you could cultivate more abundance.

Shelby: Love that, and then I’m sure we’ll get into. Well, actually, let’s just, okay.

So I have like two questions that I want to get to. I want to get to like how your, like, how your work with the archetypes has informed your relationship with money in your life and how that’s changed. But I first think we need to like, just state the seven archetypes out loud altogether for everybody who’s not familiar with.

Olivia: Yeah. That’s a great one. So there are seven feminine archetypes that are in each woman or feminine identifying. There is. The mother, the wise woman, the wild woman, the lover, the Huntress, and the queen. So all of these lie within each of us, we’re not one facet. We are multifaceted. And so each of those has a heroin journey within themselves.

And when we heal that we navigate the world in our most empowered states

Shelby: I love have that. So it makes me think of like, Like a diamond faceted and that the light is coming in, in shining through. Ideally in this like empowered, healed way through each of the facets, depending on like how you shift the diamond and everything.

So I love that. I love how you framed that as like multifaceted to like really bring 

that home. So I think, okay. So now that everybody knows that how has like this journey with these archetypes and moving through them yourself? And it even like moving through them with clients, how has that changed your relationship with money or what have you seen in others as it’s changed?

Olivia: Yeah, so I think it’d be great to go through each of the archetypes and how it’s connected to money mindsets. So we could start with the maiden. The maiden is the part of you that has curiosity that has wonder and oftentimes that part of ourselves ends up getting lost when we become cynical and things happen in our lives.

And so that is really important to keep within ourselves to understand that money can be used for us to be adventurous in this world to have new experiences and cultivate that healthy relationship. That money is not scarce. So that’ll go into the future archetypes. So that’s the maiden then there’s the mother and her journey is about learning that she’s worth giving to so that she deserves money and money is a vehicle, is a tool to give back to yourselves in whatever self-care means to her.

And so that’s the mother. Then we have the wise woman. The wise woman is the part of you that is very in tune with your intuition, trusting your intuition with money, trusting yourself that you know how to use money in the best way possible. That’ll be serving you and others. So that’s the wise woman and we have the wild woman.

The wild woman is the part of you that doesn’t need to conform to society. What does it mean to be quote unquote wealthy? Defining abundance for yourself? So that in itself is another journey when it comes to the relationship with money, then there is the lover, which I briefly talked about earlier about seeing money as a lover.

How would you treat a lover and cultivating that beautiful intimacy? And then there’s the Huntress. She is the part of you who is goal oriented career oriented has a vision for her life and connecting with money again, as a vehicle, as a tool to help you get there. 

And then there’s the queen who knows her power. Is in her sovereignty has the confidence and openly receives knowing that she has abundance and wealth and the money is going to serve the world. 

So those are the seven feminine archetypes, briefly talking about that connection with money mindsets. And when we are able to tap into that, each of those archetypes within ourselves, we’re able to open these doors to whether it’s money, mindset or relationships or career, whatever it may be. Um, so yeah, that was a brief overview.

Shelby: Thank you for the overview. I think it was very helpful for not just like myself, like seeing the like, mirrors. Right. But I think for everybody just taking a moment to sort of take that inventory, you know, like “that resonates.”

“That sounds familiar,” you know, like, oh, “that’s kinda what’s going on.” So I know that’s going to be helpful. What I’d like to prompt a story, right. Or like the situation or like something. And I’m trying to think of a good question, but it’s not just like, can you tell us about a time in which, um, but. Is there an example from your life or that you’ve seen in a client of one of these, but like the, the transformation that occurs through healing, that archetype where they are afterwards, kind of like, not just like money mindset, but in their life too. Like after we go through the journey of the Queen. Like an example of like a story. Like somebody is like, experience with that because like, it doesn’t have to be the queen, but just like, there’s so much power in stories. And then like, 

I can’t imagine like how powerful it must be to move through those archetypes and that heroine’s journey and the transformation that, that lies on the other side.

So I’d like to like, like it feels deep, but I’d like a bigger picture for like my brain, you know? 

Olivia: Yeah. I love deep questions. So there’s so many stories that I’m thinking about and I’m just trying to choose which one would be great. Um, I think the one that’s standing out right now and is being called forth is one from my personal experience.

So. Before I was a coach. I have been in four careers prior. So it was in the music industry as a pop artist. Um, and then I went into politics and advocacy. I was in international affairs and I went into marketing and then veterinary medicine, and then now coaching and a big component of what helped me manifest and get to all these milestones and really reached my goals was my ability to have that confidence within myself to know that I always have myself and that I could trust that whatever happens I’ve got me. And the most important relationship we have in our lives is with ourselves. We enter this world by ourselves and we leave this world by ourselves.

And so if I’m thinking of an example. It was back when I worked for a marketing agency. Um, and so I had just moved to New York. I’d gotten a job. I wasn’t really listening to the energy though, when I accepted that job. Cause it didn’t feel like a fit, but I was like, I just need a job. I was in scarcity.

And when I entered that job, it was very much sink or swim they’ve described it like that. But especially that agency, and it was always like you were walking on eggshells and I think it was a month or two in that I realized that I was being paid 20 K less than my counterpart. And. They, when they found out my age also, like I was 10 years younger than my counterpart, although with the qualifications, but to realize that I was being paid 20 K less definitely affected how I felt in that space and the work that I was doing.

And, and so eventually um, I ended up moving back to LA and the next time around, when I was looking for jobs in LA, what I made sure to do is I’ve already been in this position where I did overtime 12 hour days, um being paid 20 K less than my counterpart. I’m never going to settle for that again. Because I know what I deserve.

And a tool that I have with my clients is that I have them do a brag sheets, knowing that these are all the things you’ve accomplished in the past, right? These are, these are all the accomplishments, accomplishments that you’ve done, but also do a brag sheet of your being. What are the amazing things about you as an individual and cultivating that strong confidence and self love within yourself so that when you approach a potential employer, you know what you’re worth and you won’t settle.

And so I ended up juggling a few offers and ended up getting paid 20 K more and finally getting what I deserved. So that was, I would say a great example of when I really cultivated my self-worth, which is one of the bases of tapping into the feminine archetypes, when you’re able to heal all of these archetypes, you’re going to navigate the world and your most empowered states and attracts all the best opportunities.


Shelby: no, I’m not like directly goes with like money, wine, sex. I have found like self worth as a huge part of it. 

Um, yes. Especially in like us society and I’m sure elsewhere, like, We directly relate money to worth like, pay what you get paid, what you’re worth. The company basically told you that you were 20 K less worthy than your counterpart.

Um, like for whatever reasons, right? Like probably because you’re a woman, probably because you were younger, you know, like all these isms that they have. Right. And like, then we internalize that. And as you said, that like affected how you felt about the job and you were actually able to take that and be like, no, that’s not what I deserve.

And you were able to do that, like self-worth healing and with the archetypes and like, get that 20 K more, like, that’s huge. Like you were like, nah, I do deserve this. I am worth this. And I think that like, That’s amazing because it’s so hard to like de tangle that mess that we’re given about worth and money and work like that you had to work 12 hour days to make 20 K less and be less valued by that company. And. Wow. It’s a lot. 

Olivia: Yeah. It was definitely a lesson that I am so grateful for because it helped me expand and grow into this empowered woman who can now help others. Um, something I wanted to add to that is that it ties into intergenerational trauma. So. Being a woman of color and having immigrant parents, there’s this whole nother layer to it.

And that’s why the work, the inner work is so important, especially if we have immigrant parents or women, or are part of any groups that have been oppressed. So when it comes to that, when we dive into the feminine archetypes, um, it doesn’t only focus on the aspects of being a woman or feminine identifying it taps into the other facets of who you are as we define yourself to be.

And you’re going to find through that when they go through the healing that they realize, oh, maybe I, I have this wound from trauma. I have this trauma big T little T from childhood that was actually carried on from my parents. How did your parents think about money? So. Another personal experience of my parents grew up in poverty and they came to America, had the American dream, but the scarcity mindset around money is still there.

And while I would say that I’ve done a lot of work, that’s still something that I still work on because it’s so ingrained from survival, from who knows ancestors generations onward or backwards. So when we become aware of this, then we can break the cycle for future generations. Not only for us to thrive, but our future generations to thrive.

Shelby: Wow. Yeah, because you’re not carrying that like survival anymore. There’s a huge. Difference between like survival and like enough. And then it feels like there’s a little less of a jump from like enough to thriving, but like that certain high level jump feels so huge. 

Like, and there are things that you have to do to survive that don’t serve you later on.

Right. Because. Traumatic, right. It, trauma is like a huge part of living in poverty. Like it’s traumatizing and just trying to survive. And even in the, like, sometimes the things that you have to do physically to try to survive the things that you, how like your. Always able to meet your needs and not because of any like self-blame or shame, but because like a lot of times the way society is structured around you.

Right. And it makes you internalize that it’s like, not like, I don’t think society always directly says this, but it’s like, no, no, no, no. It wasn’t me. That was you. And so you’ve been like internalized this and ways of being that served you in like. Getting through surviving through the trauma, right. Getting through the trauma doesn’t always serve you outside of that. And it’s really hard to like, relearn that safety and thus to change your money mindset in this case, but like all types of right. Just like any type of traumatic event relearning that safety is hard. And then yeah, it does get passed down because. You remember your body remembers, right.

And so you act in these ways and yeah, I can, like, it is really hard to. Having parents who immigrated, uh, I can’t imagine how extra traumatizing that is because the United States, as much as we’re like, yeah, “come live with the American dream.” We’re also like “you, but not you,” you know, like who are you to come here?

Which is really weird, um, considering the history, but that’s the oppressive patriarchal system. Um, yeah, so you’re like doing huge work. With the archetypes too. Yeah, go ahead. 

Olivia: Oh, I was just going to say that. I think that all of us are doing huge work when we are able to bring that self-awareness of wait, maybe this isn’t.

I mean, it’s yours, your experience trauma, but it actually is carried on intergenerationally. It came from your ancestors. So whether it’s immigrants or you know, your mother, if we think about history for women, women are still part of the oppressed. We didn’t get rights to vote since, you know, just a few decades ago.

And so it wasn’t that long ago. And so when we think about what can a woman own for every woman who is able to see their worth and have a strong money mindset, a healthy money mindset to be able to openly receive and say, “Hey, I deserve money.” That’s a game changer. One person at a time in this it’s part of a movement quite honestly.

So that’s something I’m really passionate about for others to really see their worth, especially women and feminine identifying, especially people who are a part of, um, an oppressed group, because when you’re able to break through that breakthrough and heal those traumas, you’re able to reach your fullest potential and find that fulfillment and align with your purpose and cultivate abundance and all of that.


Shelby: Yeah. And also what I’m hearing from you is like, change that cycle. 

Olivia: Yes like that cycle. 

Shelby: Yes. 

Olivia: Break and change.

Shelby: yeah. Yeah. Like dismantling the cycle of like the further oppression, like it takes work and sometimes it happens over generations, but like, that’s what this is all about at the end of the day is changing the the cycles, dismantling them, breaking them so that the realities we experience are changing as well, like, so that women like women couldn’t own credit cards, you know, women, or have a big account in their name or these kinds of things. And then being able to access the resources in society that like we utilize day in and day out.

Like if you don’t have access to money, You really don’t have access to things like healthcare and food and housing security and like everything, you know, like you really don’t. And so changing that, knowing that you are worthy of it, you like full on deserve it. It’s not that like, you can do something, that’s, that’s an unchanging property of yourself, right.

That like you deserve it and you’re worthy of these things. And so are your children, so are the generations to come. And so we need to change that. Like now, probably like yesterday, but like now, so that it, like, it is different going forward. 

Olivia: Yeah, I think it’s what’s helps me with it is sometimes, you know, women, biologically, we are givers or caregivers we give, give, give.

So it’s hard to reflect back on us and think that you deserve it. One step into that is by doing this work, it actually supports my future generations. It actually supports women in general, um, or just humans in general. Um, and I think, I truly believe that when we do this inner work, um, and cultivate this abundance, there is not a finite amount of money.

I think there’s an infinite amount, you know, it’s always moving and money is energy. And when we can shift that mindset, knowing that money isn’t in scarcity, then we can fully, we can finally reach that point of thriving, which is what our ancestors actually want for us. So this is, this is beautiful work. I think.

Shelby: Yeah. It’s like what you said, just reminded me of those like memes that people go around where they’re like my ancestors looking at my spice cabinet or like, you know, like those kinds of things, or like, they don’t have to like, Um, somebody, somebody else’s like their ancestors, like in there, like meme was like this, they’re not breaking their back. They’re able to sit on the couch and like, eat these potatoes, you know, like that, like potato chips, you know, like things like that. Um, yeah. He’ll like, yeah, they really do. And I don’t think those memes are like totally out of context. Right? Like, I think like for those of us who do ancestor work and who have connections with our answers, there’s like, we’re like, yeah, yeah, they are because I did that.

Yeah. Like they do want you to thrive. So just for like everybody who. Maybe doesn’t have that experience. That’s like a reference point for everybody like there. Oh, I got to look at you like yess! We want you to thrive!,

Olivia: and the ancestors are always with you. So with my clients, I do this ancestral visualization, which is actually one of their favorites. Um, there’s always tears, but great, happy tears. And. I have them meet their ancestors. Um, and, and recognizing that you are never truly alone. They are in your blood. They are in your DNA. Their energy’s always with you, and you can always call on them when you feel like you’re struggling and you need support and that they are cheering you on. They want see you thrive. And. I am. I’m really connected with my ancestors and do some ancestral work with my clients as well. And, uh, when you were talking about that, it reminded me of a few years ago.

I, uh, went along with my dad and his siblings to Hainan, which is the best described as the Hawaii of China. 

Shelby: Okay. 

Olivia: And that’s where our ancestors are. And I got to meet the matriarch of, um, my dad’s side. And she’s this old lady on a farm and everyone like respects her and like the values and then learning about my history of like, we came from farmers and fishermen.

And how it’s so different from now. And so when I do have that visualization or think about my ancestors, I’m like, wow, we have done, we have taken leaps and bounds from coming from there w which they were happy and thriving as well, but to see how different it is now in America. 

And what does thriving look like for you here? And how can you connect that with money mindset? So that’s a question I would love to just share with whoever’s listening. 

Shelby: I love that I’m going to have to go back and listen and write it out. It’s like journaling problems. Now. I do really like that. I do. Yeah. Like what is thriving for you here and now? Yeah.

Olivia: Yeah. It’s different for everyone. 

Shelby: It is. It is. And it goes back to that. Your uniqueness too, you know, like you are a unique individual, you are amazing, you are fantastic, you know? And so what does your thriving look like? Not like the thriving prescribed to you by this, you know, white supremacist patriarchal system, but what is your own thriving look like?

Uh, Mindblowing. That’s huge. 

Olivia: Yeah, we are all unique. And another question I like to ask my clients is if you were to embody your most empowered self, so that would be your queen archetype energy. How would you be the leader for yourself? So in this case, when it comes to money mindset, When you struggle with money, how would your queen archetype handle that or make that decision?

Or what would she say to yourself to get you through that struggle? That obstacle. Yeah.

Shelby: Question for people to ponder it. We’re going to have to highlight these in the show notes. Like yeah. I love that. Yeah. I think that’s like one thing you. And I have also really connected on just like, just for everybody who doesn’t know, like Olivia and I are in a program together as like peers. And I love like Olivia’s perspective on things.

And also just like, those reflections. Cause like, as everybody knows, like I’m huge on journaling, whereas you may not know. And now, you know, um, so like those questions are like so great because I love the like diving in the reflection. I’m just, I’m just so jazzed that they’re here. You’ve given these great gifts to like dive into like, 

Olivia: yeah. I love helping other people gain more insight in who they are. And I feel this has just been a thought I’ve had running for a while where there’s such power in questions. If you ask the right question. I actually, this was something I heard from my organic chemistry professor back in college. And he had said that in science, it’s all about asking the right questions and this can be applied to your inner work as well.

If someone asks you the right questions that might unlock wisdom within you, that you hadn’t tapped into before. And I always tell everyone, clients or not clients that when someone asks you a question, whether it’s a coach or a friend, a mentor, whoever it is, if they ask you the right question, it’s, it’s helping you tap into wisdom that you’ve always already had.

It’s coaches and mentors they don’t teach you something. You already have known at all. They’re just guiding you back to your own inner wisdom. 

Shelby: Yeah, no, I completely agree too. Cause like they’re coming from the like social work therapy background. It’s like, you’re the expert on yourself, not me. So like I’m just helping, giving you the tools and the like perspectives and you’re the expert you at the end of the day, decide like if that’s correct or not, or, you know, Whatever right. So I love, I love your framing on that. 

Olivia: Thank you. Yeah. Um, that is very true about therapy, where it’s therapy, they lead you, they ask you the questions and they lead you to find that answer. And it’s the same with coaches, mentors and anyone else. Yeah. 

Shelby: Okay. So, uh, before we wrap up, is there any other thoughts, um, things you want to say channeling happening that you wanna to share, like leaving this open-ended for you. Um, And obviously for anybody who’s listening and you’re resonating with us, please go check out Olivia staffs, please go follow her, go work with her, whatever capacity she has open to you available.

Go do it. Um, because like she should really, really knows this and she, she’s just a beautiful person. 

Olivia: Thank you. I think a channel is coming there way I a channel message for those who are struggling with money mindset, it’s reminding yourself deep down, you know, this, that you deserve everything. And whether it’s that you want money or money is a vehicle or tool to get you to where you want to go. I think recognizing that it’s worth prioritizing yourself and worth investing in yourself. So when I first invested in my inner growth and self care- which I think isn’t prioritized normally in society because it’s usually about survival and that’s where the shift happens into thriving- that it was such a scary leap for me, but there’s something that switches, when you invest in yourself, making that decision tells yourself that you are worth it. And it just there’s leaps and bounds that happen with it.

So whenever you’re really fearful around money, whether it’s “I don’t have enough money,” or “I can’t afford this.” If you trust, trust yourself that you will make the right decision for yourself, whether it’s investing in a coach or a car that’s going to help you get to have all these experiences, whatever you feel like is going to support you to the next level and the next version of who you want to be.

So. Yeah, that’s, that’s what I wanted to share at the very end of this. 

Shelby: Thank you so much for that channeling at the, and 

Olivia: of course, 

Shelby: and all of the questions you provided us and the stories you’ve shared. I might tear up a little bit. Um, I just think it’s really a beautiful, and I really appreciate you sharing all of that with us.

And I’m so excited to hear from everybody. So if you’re listening to this episode, like shout us out on social media, again, Olivia’s at limitlessthriver on IG and TikTok. I’m Shelby Melissa. So like tag us, tell us what you took away from this episode. Um, Quotes you resonated with like, we are both human beings and we want to connect with you.

We’re not just like robotic businesses, like we’re human beings. So we want to hear from you. We want to connect with you. And thank you so much for being here Olivia. 

Olivia: Thank you for having me. 

Shelby: I will see you all or hear you all on the next episode.

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