Happy Winter Solstice and welcome to Episode 43 of the Money Mindset Shift! In this episode we’re talking about the mindset – reality lag!
The mindset-reality lag is what happens when a shift occurs in either your mindset or your reality, but the other doesn’t reflect that shift yet.
To put it another way – you change your mindset, reality doesn’t always change right away. On the opposite side of things, reality changes, your mindset doesn’t always change right away.
Has this ever happened to you?
You’ve been living in scarcity. Not that spiritual use of scarcity – but like actual lived experience of there just not being enough. Not enough money to cover all of the bills. Or you’re having to do without, restrict your basic needs, etc.
And then your situation changes. You now have more than enough. Maybe you finally landed a higher paying client, or that job with a pay increase, or God forbid, an inheritance. Regardless, bills are paid. You don’t have to restrict anymore.
But you’ve been in lack for so long. And so you still have the fear that there won’t be enough at the end of the month. Your body and your mind still react to seeing the total for groceries or when you get the notification that rent is due.
Your reality has changed. Financially, you are okay. But your mindset is still in survival. There is a lag in the change.
This was the case for one of my clients.
She put in a lot of hard work to land some higher paying clients. And suddenly she was able to afford stability. A place to call her own. More than enough that she could indulge in games. Afford a trip for her birthday. Etc. You can see the picture here.
But the fears were still there. This was no more apparent than when one of the contracts with one of her clients ended. She had more than enough in savings. But there was the body and mind response of “I need to obtain another client right now.” “How am I going to pay rent next month?”
This was also interestingly marked by exhaustion. On the one hand, her body and mind were anxious, still in survival mode. But on the other hand, her body was also now feeling safe enough to feel all the things it couldn’t feel when her reality was actually in survival mode (hence, the exhaustion).
Her reality changed, but there was a lag in her mindset.
At the end of one of our calls, I gave her the homework to actually take a look at her money. She could budget however she wanted, following whatever budget rules she wanted. But she had to look at how long her money would last her.
And she did. She realized that in reality, she still had more than enough for more than enough for the next few months. Enough time that she didn’t have to rush herself into a new client. That she had time to heal, rest, and process.
This is where her mindset began to change. She could finally work and heal and process and change her mindset so that it wasn’t that immediate (imitates screaming). It was, “okay, I’ve got this.”
On the other side of things, there is a mindset – reality lag as well.
When I had my first nearly $10k month, I was journaling every night, but I still only made 3 sales for the $20 offer that I was selling. It wasn’t until later that month that I sold a year long package putting me nearly at $10k.
And still, my reality didn’t change immediately even with that income. My husband and I were still living at my dad’s in Michigan. At home. But in 6 months, we would be accepted for an apartment 30 minutes from the beach. And in 7 months, we would be driving across the country.
So even when my mindset changed, my reality didn’t immediately completely change.
And don’t get me wrong, the changes between reality and mindset (and reality again) are a continual process. After I sold that year long package, I had thoughts and mindset patterns come up around worth that I still had to address. And then again when looking at apartments, and after moving.
Things are in a continual flux.
Further, when things don’t change immediately, it doesn’t mean that you are doing something wrong. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t working hard enough. And when things seem to “back-slide” that doesn’t mean that you failed or that you did something wrong either.
Again, things are in a continual flux. That is life.
But this is to say, “keep going.” The changes you are making will, do, and are adding up.
If you are finding yourself in one of these lag moments, reach out. Keep doing the work, but reach out. Share where you are at in the Money Mindset Shift Community on Facebook. The link is in the episode description. We all have your back and are cheering you on.
And we are celebrating all of the wins with you. ❤️
So if you aren’t already a member, come join us! And I’ll see you in the next episode of The Money Mindset Shift!