44. Crafting your own relationship with money

Happy New Year and welcome to Episode 44 of the Money Mindset Shift! I’m a big advocate for you creating a life and business that works for YOU, not some prescribed box that you have to fit into. And that is why this episode is all about crafting your OWN relationship with money!

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Happy New Year and welcome to Episode 44 of the Money Mindset Shift! I’m a big advocate for you creating a life and business that works for YOU, not some prescribed box that you have to fit into. And that is why this episode is all about crafting your OWN relationship with money!

There are a lot of should’s in life –

“You should go to school. (University)”

“You should join this trade to take over the family business.”

“You should go into this career, not that career.”

Act this way. Talk this way. Be this way and do things this way.

It is a lot of pressure to perform, produce, and profit in ways that may not actually work for you. And that pressure can cause anxiety, depression, frustration, and burn out.

Ultimately, it is no different with money. In part because money is not separate from all of those things. But also because money is tied to worth and status. That may not be the case everywhere in the world, but it is certainly the case here in the United States. And this is also not to say that it should be, but it’s just matter of fact.

Working on your money mindset can definitely give you space for more freedom in your experience with money. And we talk about mindset a lot, but what about strategy?

Crafting your own relationship with money includes strategy. Where are you at? Where do you want to get to? How are you getting there. The process you will be led through in this episode seeks to answer these questions and leave you with an idea of your next steps. You are goal planning, and what better time to do this than now, at the beginning of a new year?

If you don’t have your journal, feel free to grab it! Hit pause, come back. Or you can simply begin mentally reflecting on the questions I will pose to you.

First thing first, is diving into what YOU want. So what do you want your relationship with money to look like?

It doesn’t have to look like what other people want. Enough is okay. Stability is okay. Overflow is okay. And this changing over time is also okay.

I want you to dive deep into what you want and what that looks like. What it feels like. How are you interacting with money? Does it look or feel like other relationships you have? Relationships with people, other things, etc.

We, in part, discover our desires through the world around us. And that does sometimes include our desires lining up with what people have told us we should want. The things we see on Instagram, on T.V., the things we see celebrities doing, etc. So it is okay if it does line up and that is what you truly want. But also, it is okay to want something different. The point is that it works for YOU and that you aren’t being forced into some box that was never designed for you.

After you dig into what you want, it is time to look at where you are now. This is very similar to the questionnaire at the beginning of the Limitless Money Mindset Journal. So, similar, slightly different but similar.

You can think of it like this. How do you feel when you invest or spend money? How do you feel when you receive money? How would you describe your relationship with money if it was another human? (Person-person relationship versus person-thing relationship.)

So taking all of those things into account, what does your relationship with money look like right now?

Chances are, where you are now is not where you want to be. And that is okay. It just means there is opportunity for change. It doesn’t have any reflection on you. You’re not a bad person. You didn’t fail. You aren’t doing something wrong. Okay? It’s just an opportunity for change.

But now that you have your Point A (where you are) and your Point B (where you want to be) – you can begin to craft your road map!

What milestones or journey markers do you think you will pass along the way? How will you know you are making progress? Are there things you will be doing differently? Are there different feelings towards money that you will have?

These are various markers on your roadmap.

And once you have those markers, you can break them down further into actionable or doable steps. If one of the markers is that you are saving x amount of money per month, then a step could be setting up an automatic transfer into your saving account for a smaller amount of money that is doable right now. Maybe that’s $10. Maybe it’s $5. Maybe it’s $100.

Who knows? You know!

Because your steps will depend on your goals. So, again, take a look at those markers – those roadmap markers/journey markers that you identified. Break them down into those actionable or doable steps. You want things that you can sustainably do over time that isn’t a bunch of changes all at once that you’re gonna wear yourself out on.

But if you find yourself feeling stuck creating those steps, reach out! The Money Mindset Shift Community members and I would be happy to lend some thoughts and reflections!

(Join the community here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/themoneymindsetshiftcommunity)

After you have your points A-B, you have your makers, and you have your steps, then comes the sticky part – not spending all your time planning. You actually have to walk the path! You actually have to take those actionable doable steps. There can be a bit of analysis paralysis, sort of, it you will, in the planning. Like, “I still have a little bit of a gap here,” or “does this even really fit?”

Sometimes we don’t know until we’re walking the path. And that’s why it’s okay if things change. You may want to take a detour because it’s more scenic. And that is okay! You are in charge. You are allowed to make those changes. You are allowed to take a different path. That’s the whole point – is that it works for you.

It won’t always be enjoyable. But the idea is the path you’re walking to be enjoyable to you.

So go walk it! Go do it. Go start the journey.

And a secret – there is a workbook-like thing on this coming! As I am recording this, I am working on it. I’m creating it, outlining it. It’s here, it’s coming. By the time this is released, I have no idea where it’s gonna be at in the process. So make sure to follow me on Instagram, @shelbymelissa , to get all the news!

If you have any questions, feel free to reach out. Also let me know your thoughts on this episode, where you’re at with your planning, and again, you’re always welcome to share all of the things in the Money Mindset Shift community on Facebook.

With all of that said, again, this is YOUR relationship with money. Create it to be what you want. Not the box that somebody else is pushing you into. Or that you “should” fit in.

So keep that in mind. And I’ll see you in the next episode of the Money Mindset Shift!

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