05. The thing I needed before I was ready - and one you may be needing to get started too.

Welcome to Episode 5! It is 2021, but I could have been talking to you about money mindset back in 2018. But I didn’t. While I told myself this was because I had more money mindset work for myself to do, and that was in part true, I also had work to do around worthiness and judgement. And that came down to acceptance. That is something that you could be needing too. 

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It is 2021, but I could have been talking to you about money mindset back in 2018.

I had a course and everything, so what happened?

The short answer, I had more work to do.

Here’s the long answer.

I told myself I needed to do more money mindset work for myself. Which is in part, true. I had ideas of what didn’t work for me before and I needed to spend some time figuring out what my way would look like.

But I didn’t commit to doing that for a few more years.

Because the real work I had to do involved worthiness and judgement.

Due to the nature of the internet and the polarizing was in which we get filtered online, it appeared as if many of the money mindset coaches I knew at the time were very similar.

Obviously, we know differently. Because everyone is unique and no one shares all of the details regarding their life online. No one is owed that.

But, the internet culture had divided people in the money mindset world into one of two groups.

One, the people who had money and were talking about it. They lived glamorous lived and flaunted their wealth. And none seemed to address the privilege it took to get where they were.

Two, the people who didn’t have money but were talking about money mindset. They were talked about as the “wannabes” and how out of alignment and integrity they were. People whispered about how they were just in it for the money.

And while we know that this binary, or really any other, doesn’t reflect reality, we are still conscious of them because we are human. We care about fitting in and about what other’s think of us.

I didn’t want to be like group one, but I wanted to obviously have more than enough to support my family, treat my friends, donate, and live somewhere warm.

But I also didn’t want to be in group two. I didn’t want to be judged and deemed unworthy.

So I basically steered clear of speaking about money mindset publicly. And I also avoided doing my own work.

By doing so, I didn’t really have to address the underlying issues of worth and fear of judgement and being ostracized.

It isn’t a coincidence that the beta testers are telling me that as they dig into their money mindset they are unraveling the tangled yarn ball of programs to find issues and fears around worthiness and love.

Part of that is because we are human and those things live at the core of our experience.

But also because it was precisely why I had avoiding doing it myself.

In the United States, and probably elsewhere as well, the concept of money has been so deeply tied to our worth. Companies pay you rates that they believe your skills and experiences are worth. When we build service based businesses, we are told to charge our worth. When we love someone, our consumerist society tells us to buy them things. And if we aren’t gifted with things Money can buy or the money itself, we are told we aren’t loved enough by that person. That someone who truly loved us would buy us the diamond necklace with the biggest diamond available, the new video game system with all the extras, etc.

I was avoiding dealing with my own mindset regarding myself, and so I avoided looking at what it would look like to begin speaking about money mindset and how I perceive the energy of money.

But last year, something shifted. Through the pandemic, moving back home, the inability to travel, the protests, the ever increasing number of deaths, and so much more, something finally tipped that bucket over.

I got myself a new journal. And I got to work on my money mindset.

That thing that tipped the bucket over, it was my willingness to get uncomfortable with my money mindset again. I was willing and needing to change.

Change can be difficult and uncomfortable. And I had to accept that.

And that is what had been keeping me stuck.

I wasn’t willing to accept seeing the things that I knew I would see on some level. That I did feel unworthy or left behind.

That resistance to acceptance and uncomfortability – can keep any of us stuck. It definitely kept me stuck, and it could be keeping you stuck too.

So what I want to leave you with this episode, is an invitation to explore that.

What are you afraid you’ll find if you explore your money mindset?
Or what do you think will happen if you commit to the change you desire?
Is the goal, are your desires, bigger than that uncomfortable feeling?

And know that, once you start moving, it may be uncomfortable, but it does tend to get a bit easier. We can begin to see things more clearly, so to speak, and so they begin to look a little less scary. We also adjust to the feeling of growth and it becomes a bit more familiar.

But, you have to make those moves of commitment and accepting that it will probably be uncomfortable and even not fun at times. Baby steps.

Want more tips on shifting your money mindset? Would you like more behind the scenes peeks and even excerpts from my own journal?

It is time to create a new relationship with money.

It gets to feel less heavy, empowering, and even supportive. Over 3 months together, you will release fears that may be keeping you stuck, much like you’ve been invited to do today. You’ll expand your comfortability receiving sums of money thru your business and in life. You’ll up root old programs that have been slowly poisoning your life. And you will feel empowered in your relationship with money instead of dictated by it.

If you would like to have an empowered, more fulfilling relationship with money, one where you feel like you can trust money more than you have before – I invite you to learn more and apply to work 1:1 with me at shelbymelissa.com/money-mindset-coaching . We’ve included the link in the show notes as well.

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