I am so excited. We have an interview today if you didn’t already catch that, uh, Today I have Quinn Downie. Quinn is a healer and intuitive business coach for women. She helps her clients to tap into new layers of personal growth in both life and business through her combination of psychology, spirituality, and brand strategy.
Which is like side note, amazing. She offers mental health coaching and business coaching, ultimately supporting women to step into their natural form of magnetic leadership. Health is wealth, and when women have power within their mind and their socioeconomic status, they’re able to live a better quality of life.
We all know that. So you can find Quinn social media links in her website. https://bio.site/quinndownie so that’s Q U I N N D O W N I E, and that link will be in the show notes as well. That’s got, again, all the social media links, all the website, TikTok, Instagram, et cetera. So welcome Quinn.
Quinn: Thank you. Hello. I’m so happy to be here.
Thank you so much for the invitation.
Shelby: Of course. We’re so excited. Like, I, I, okay. Just for everybody, like I love Quinn. I think Quinn’s amazing. Um, obviously I’m super biased. I hope you love Quinn too, . But, um, so honored that you are here and that you accepted the invite. Um, and as you know, for starting off, we have a question just to lay our, um, understanding at a foundational level, how do you define money mindset?
Quinn: That’s a really good question. So for me, the main thing with money mindset is somatics and how money feels in the body because money for us is security, safety and it should feel secure and safe. But a lot of people, and I’m definitely one of them, have a certain amount of trauma related to money.
So sometimes, even though money is technically just currency numbers, it is an objective tool. It doesn’t always feel that way in the body to us, and it’s not necessarily how we experience money, depending on our life experiences with it, depending on what we’ve maybe unconsciously attached to what money means.
So to sum it up, really money mindset for me is how safe you feel in your body when you are spending money and receiving money. Talking about money and managing money. And I know like sometimes we can feel right, like I think it’s so important to mention managing money cuz I think sometimes we can feel really comfortable earning it, but then when it’s time to look at it on a spreadsheet, do the taxes, do the bookkeeping, that can be a big trigger for a lot of people. And I know for me it’s the opposite. I’m actually very comfortable with looking at it, managing it, but earning it, I can sometimes find intimidating if I’m being honest, like, you know, I know how to do it, but it’s, it’s intimidating. So for all of us, we each have a different relationship with money and for me, That relationship, but specifically the way that that relationship feels in the body really is what money mindset means to, to me.
Shelby: Thank you so much for your definition and for going into those details because it is so important. Um, and just for everybody to know, Quinn and I both have a background in therapy and mental health, and so. That piece of the body is hugely important because it has that direct tie to mental health and to giving us information.
But that’s not something we always have access to do two things like trauma and other things as well. So, um, I just wanna like say like, that was an important highlight that I just wanna highlight for everybody. And secondly, the, all of the details in money, receiving it, spending it, managing it, looking at it like talking about it, like all of that is really important cuz it is more than just money coming and going.
There is an entire relationship that’s had there and that can bring up so many different things. in so many different aspects, right?
Quinn: Mm-hmm. Absolutely
Shelby: So many different body feelings.
What I was really excited to talk to you about, and this directly ties back to money mindset, but also so much more is your own signature method because we have to, in my framework, it’s evaluate, shift, heal.
We have to heal, and I think that is something that you talk about so wonderfully. So please introduce us to your signature method and, okay, go ahead.
Quinn: I’m so excited that this is specifically, what you invited me to share because to me, the Rose method, my signature method is the thing that I’m the proudest about so far in what I have built in my business because it is a combination of everything I’ve ever learned as I have a background in counsel, so I’m like a bit of a counselor, I’m a coach, I’m a healer, I’m a business coach.
I can do some consulting like I, all of those talk based skills I have, I’m able to wear all those hats. And one of the things I recognized in my healing work was that, I have a really sharp eye for detecting patterns, but sometimes the person I’m helping can’t access that information as easily as I can.
And even if I reflect it back and tell them it and like show them the pattern, they still might not get it. And so I realized was there’s a somatic piece here that’s missing. They need to experience what I’m trying to get them to see, and the reason I’m trying to get them to see patterns in the first place is because our patterns are what essentially create what we feel. You know, so it’s the way that you feel in your body, whether it’s anxiety, whether it’s happiness, whether it’s, it could be any number of things as we know. We have so many feelings we can feel, and a big game changer for me, even in my own personal healing, was realizing that the way that I feel isn’t random, that there are things setting it off. And that’s not all coming from the outside. Sometimes the things that I’m feeling are coming from my lens and my way of interpreting what’s happening on the inside. So whenever we’re feeling an emotion, we’re experiencing it from the inside and from the outside, and it can be really hard to understand feelings when all you are feeling is them and you don’t know what’s like underlying underneath that feeling like what is actually causing you to feel that way? Cuz emotions are just communication. I just see them as our bodies communicating to us. And a huge part of intuition is our bodies’ communication is basically is like in a nutshell that is intuition is our body’s language and how it tells us things that we might not know with our brain cognitively just yet. So my work, my brand is called Live Your Intuition. So my work is all about intuition, whether it’s business or mental health, it’s always about talking to your body and listening to your body.
And when I would facilitate this, I noticed that a lot of the times, What the obstacle was, was that my clients would feel something very strongly, but they wouldn’t be able to understand what that feeling was saying to them. So it was just this feeling and they’re like, just feel this way, but I don’t know why I feel this way, what my body is saying to me.
And this feeling is really powerful and influencing my client’s behaviors. So it’s important to understand what’s behind their behavior. So, I was, this was in the summer of 2021 and I was working with a client and I could just, I could see it plain as day. I was like, I need to find a way to help them to somatically experience and reverse engineer their emotion down to its root cause, root memory, so that they can see the pattern for themselves and the visual for me, clairvoyantly, cuz I’m also clairvoyant, was a rose. And the rose was the nervous system, like symbolically speaking. And the, the budding bloom was, I kind of saw it as like the cortex, the brain, the, the, the surface that we can see and beneath the surface for all of us, whenever we experience an emotion, I saw it as stems and roots beneath the surface, deep in the dark soil, in the shadows where we can’t necessarily consciously immediately access roots. But those roots are why we feel what we feel in our mind. So I realized that I could use the emotion to, as the actual pathway back to the story, the narrative, the thing that caused the pattern in the first place, and I could guide it in a way that would allow my client to experience and see for herself what I’m seeing.
So the Rose Method became this method of, first of all, really deepening my client’s ability to tune into their body because we start with pinpointing where the emotion is in the body. That begins that dialogue with the emotion and instead of being in the emotion and it feeling awful, we’re actually like pinpointing it as its own, just feeling as its own messenger.
And then I start asking an open-ended question to begin the process of kind of tracing the emotion through the stems, through the roots beneath the surface. And it’s, it’s a very gentle process. We do it very carefully. We’re not just going like from zero to a hundred.
Shelby: Oh my gosh. Yeah. No.
Quinn: No. I begin very gently and I’m with them side by side through this whole process.
So we close our eyes together to make it somatic, to anchor into the body, to remove, um, distractions. Although I do have like a trauma-informed little speech I have at the beginning, and if closing eyes is an issue, it’s not a must do, it’s just, it helps. But we also look at the trauma aspect to that too.
But for most of my clients, it’s not a problem for them to close their eyes. It’s been all right so far. It’s been totally comfortable and it helps them to, to really feel and isolate that emotion and also allows ’em to get some, you know, sort of visuals while they’re going through it so they can really see the memories that are linked to the emotion that we’re dealing with in the moment.
So the first question I ask is, besides where do you feel it in your body is, when do you remember feeling this emotion before? And just trust what your body tells you. We’re not gonna force the answer. We’re not trying to recall the answer from memory. It’s asking your body, when have I felt this way before?
And it will respond. You just have to be open to what you get back. And I encourage my clients at this point to trust what they get back. Because you can’t really get it wrong. This is your life story. This is your psyche. You, you know what, you know what, like what you’re experiencing is real. You know what you’re doing and I’m here to like facilitate it.
Quinn: And so we look at that memory first and that’s been my favorite part of the experience because a feedback I get often is, “oh my God. Like my body’s just giving me a memory. How did you do that?” I’m like, I didn’t do that. You did that.
Shelby: Oh my gosh. Magic, right?
Quinn: Magic. Yes. And they’re just like, oh, wait a minute, this memory.
And so we explore the memory together. My eyes are closed. I’m in the memory too. I’m experiencing their emotions. Empathically too. And um, I’m also bringing the nervous system regulation. So when I’m doing this process, I’m making sure that I am, not hyper-vigilant, but not shutting down either. So I’m watching my nervous system state so that I can give their nervous system something stable and anchored through this process because it is emotional for them. So remain the anchor. And, we explore that memory, and since I can see the memory with them, I also can help them to pay attention to things that they might not notice. So very often I’ll ask, what do you notice?
What do you see? What do you feel? What are you thinking in this moment? What’s happening in this moment? And we just look at it like it’s a movie. And then I bring in the understanding of psychology. So I’m able to help them to see like, oh, so in this moment you probably felt this way because blah, blah, blah.
And I can help to kind of fill in those gaps of what they were experiencing in that moment. And we do that together. And then I can usually tell if this is the core memory or if there’s another layer yet back. And I make it clear from the start at the beginning of the session that if I’m peeling the onion back too many layers back, we actually have like a code word.
It’s usually like, stop, or like that’s enough or like, done, but some kind of code word so that I’m not continuing to peel it back. They’re like, this is too much. I’m not ready to go this far. So I always honor my client’s capacity because a lot of healing can be done without going to the root of all roots.
Obviously my goal is gonna be to go to the root for the most amount potency, but it doesn’t have to. And if there’s gonna be more harm than good by going to the root of all roots, we can look at like the stem and it’s still gonna be really powerful. But it’s nice because it takes them out of their intellectual mind for a moment and takes ’em out of the conscious mind and into what’s going on behind the scenes for a moment.
And that is where so much of trauma healing, and even just like anxiety, depression, emotional healing in general happens because, I find with mindset work and a lot of the day-to-day stuff like meditation, mindfulness, while a lot of these things can be helpful day-to-day for management, they often don’t address the root issue.
But when we go back like this, we’re, we are going to the root issue, and because we’re doing it somatically, like with our eyes closed, and we’re feeling feelings in the body and we’re experiencing it not just with the mind, but with everything, with the whole nervous system, it’s also, changing the way that the body, it’s reconditioning the body in a sense, or at least beginning to build that flexibility for the reconditioning to happen.
So sometimes I’ll take it back a few layers. So once we’ve, we’ve visited that one memory, there’ll be pieces of that person’s memory where I can tell, oh, that experience is linked to an earlier experience. When you had that happen or when you felt that, or when you experienced that, can you tell me another time – was there another time further back in your timeline where you experienced that as well? And very often we end up going back, of course, to childhood and that tends to be the root memory and that tends to be where the magic really begins to happen because how many of us actually go back to childhood with our memories, unless we’re into psychology?
Like obviously I have that, but you know, not everyone, that’s not a priority in their life. Like I need to go back in time and process this thing. So very often when we get back to that childhood memory, my clients don’t even realize like how, how much that memory impacted them until we’re there and I help them to, again, same thing.
I’m kinda like a. I kind of see it as me holding a flashlight and I’m their tour guide. So putting the light on the dynamics they might not quite see and be like, oh, do you see this over here? Do you notice this? And maybe this is happening because of this. And the other thing I make clear from the start as well is that I am not the dictator of their memory or of what is right or what is wrong about their memory. So if my interpretation feels off, they know to be able to say actually, hmm, yes, but there’s a little bit more to this cuz I’m not gonna know everything about their life. And so it actually ends up being this teamwork effort between the two of us where we’re healing together and I’m experiencing their emotions with them.
So it’s not very removed for me. It’s professionally removed. I’m not like, In the thick of it, like crying or anything, but I can feel a lot while I’m facilitating this process and while I’m feeling, I’m regulating my nervous system again to remain the anchor and not get swept away because it, it actually is more challenging than it sounds.
Shelby: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Quinn: I do somatically feel myself wanting to get sad, wanting to have an emotional response, and I have to bring it back in and ground and anchor and stay focused. And this can, this process can be, I make the session two and a half hours because in my experience it tends to take, it doesn’t feel long.
It sounds like that’s a long session and it is. Um, but it, it doesn’t feel long in the moment because we’re just experiencing it. And then you open your eyes at the end of it, all of this, and you look at the time and it’s like, whoa. So this, it does end up being a bit of like a two, two and a half hour process.
Shelby: Makes sense.
Quinn: But to get to the root memory, , we look at the narrative that my client assumed to be true about, like him or herself or their self in that moment, and with that, what their place in the world was, what narrative formed. Cuz that can encompass a lot. And just going into the mindset or just going into the emotions, the narrative tends to be where everything is wrapped up into one experience.
Look at that narrative. And I have them say the narrative out loud to see how it feels in their body, and then I invite them to write a new one, and we work together on that. It’s a collaborative effort, but what would you like to tell this version of yourself instead? What new narrative do you want to start to insert here instead? Now that you’re older, wiser, and revisiting this memory, you have more capacity to now introduce a new narrative now that we’ve acknowledged and compassionately witnessed the original one. So we’re not bypassing the original one. We’re witnessing it first to create space to welcome in a new one, and the new narrative has to be believable.
It’s not like I’m good and this didn’t hurt at all and this wasn’t awful, like it’s narrative. It’s like, okay, let’s acknowledge the parts that were difficult. But here, what do you notice now that you’re older and wiser that is a little more hopeful? What do you notice about this situation that maybe made you stronger, that maybe taught you something that was an experience of growth for you? And that narrative, I have them say it out loud and feel what that feels like in their body, and it actually becomes homework to practice that narrative when emotions related to this memory that we’re working together with come up in real life so that they can remind themselves, okay, I’m safe, I feel what I feel, but also the new narrative and they practice the new narrative.
So that’s really where the shift happens after the rose method is done. So once the narrative work is done, we then I guide us out of the closed eyed, sort of meditative state. We talk it out a little bit and just kind of cognitively process what we just did. And then wrap up the session and the homework ends up being, that they practice that new narrative when they’re essentially like triggered or activated or experiencing an emotion that is very much connected to the what to the root memory that we just worked with. And this isn’t something I just designed theoretically. I did actually do this on myself before I did this with any clients. And the big thing for me was there was some particular trauma earlier in my life that has been weighing on me for like 13 years. And yeah. And processing it this way, I noticed it created a lot of emotional freedom for me. So I’m not saying that it cured everything or that it, reversed all of my trauma in one session. But I did notice a substan– like, a substantial amount of weight lifted off my shoulders of flexibility to begin to invite in a new way of seeing things.
And I also noticed that because I felt emotionally lighter, a lot of my habits were changing. I wasn’t craving toxic things as much and actually gravitating toward healthier coping mechanisms than I would in beforehand. And some of my unhealthy habits, while they’re still in my life, they’re in my life in moderation.
Whereas before, they were not in moderation. It was quite out of control. And that that need for something to numb the pain isn’t really there anymore unless something is surfacing. But my average day, that heaviness just isn’t there. And then after doing that, because the particular trauma I’m talking about for me was related to my upbringing, after I cleared that emotional weight, I was able to recover my relationship with my family of origin in a way where like we’re closer than we were before any of the bad stuff happened.
Like I. I was just in Florida. We were just talking about this to visit my family, and it was the best visit I’ve ever had with them. It’s the closest and most intimate I’ve ever felt with my parents, and it, it, it, I’m actually in shock because some of the things that have been able to be healed and that I’ve been able to see differently after doing this rose method on myself, it also changed my actual life. It changed relationships that I thought couldn’t be changed. And the big thing for me too is that because of that trauma, I had a genuine victim complex. Like not saying it with shame, I’m not putting myself down for the victim complex.
Shelby: No judgment
Quinn: It was a testament to what I had been through. But the downside to it is I felt really powerless and angry all the time and there was so much blame. Blame for myself. Blame for other people. Blame for the world, blame for the status quo. Blame at the government, bla like it. Just blame. And not saying it wasn’t justified, but staying in a state of blame all day every day was actually just dragging down my state of mental health, obviously.
Of course. So, What I noticed too is that after doing the rose method on myself, I just didn’t feel the need to hold on to blame anymore because I saw my memory for what it was. Instead of seeing it through the eyes of a victim. Although I wa in some of my memories, I might have been one, but it was really nice to be able to expand that lens and see beyond the victim and into the adult who can still have a really good quality of life despite what she’s been through.
So I, and then that’s really amazing for me because mental health has been a big thing in my life. And I’ve been to therapy, I’ve been on medication and none of these things I, I, they’ve helped, but they never really did for me what my own method did for me. And so that’s what brought me the confidence to share it out in the world and begin to use it in sessions because of what it did for me first.
Shelby: Oh my gosh, so much.
Quinn: Welcome to my Ted talk.
Shelby: Hold on. Round of applause. Like amazing. Oh yeah, yeah. You gotta like, okay, nobody can see this, but like, actually like applause in a circle.
uh, that brought me back. Um, . You guys do like the marshmallow claps where you’re like,
Shelby: You’re not allowed to like, actually like clap. You have to pretend like it’s clapping, like it’s a marshmallow. Yeah, so like, so it’s not like a ton of noise. Right? So it’s like marshmallow claps.
Quinn: Oh, I get it. Yep. Yeah.
Shelby: Cause then you’re pretending you’re holding a marshmallow as you’re like, you’re like just basically squishing a marshmallow.
Quinn: Oh my gosh. That takes away the fun of clapping.
Shelby: Yeah. Unlocking memories, here. Um, so. First, I wanna honor that like, you used this on yourself and you had a huge transformation through it, which is amazing because we both have a mental health background, so we’ve talked about mental health things, right?
Um, so just that, like that transformation is huge. Especially, um, coming from a memory and an experience of trauma, which is hard and difficult and I wanna reiterate that, like, yes, that happens, right? And there there was nothing wrong with you. There wasn’t like, again, cuz of that blame and shame and everything we, you know, we both talk about.
Like, it unfortunately happens. It’s a horrible, violent thing that can happen to any person, and it’s not your fault. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t have those, those feelings attached to it, like you said.
Shelby: So feeling through that is so important because that narrative does inform, as you’ve said, and as I talk about, like that narrative, whatever it is, does inform our feelings, our behaviors, our emotions, our, our bodily reactions, right?
It’s all tied together. I talk about like, like, okay, so I don’t know about you, but like when, growing up, uh, like play jewelry and you’d throw it all in like a bag or you know, like your, your little purse, right? And then it would get all tangled together. It’s like that for me. Like, it’s like we have this tangled mess and so we’re just pulling a little bit to see if this will come out over here, pulling this a little bit over here, and then soon we’ve kind of got it somewhat untangled a little bit. We can get the bracelet or the necklace or whatever we were wanting.
Quinn: I forgot to mention that. But the visual of the rose was a tangled rose. I just forgot that detail and that what I’m doing is to tease apart the threads. Help them to reorganize.
Quinn: The visual you just made. I’m like, wait a minute. Yeah. That is really it. That is so perfect.
Shelby: Yes. Amazing. Um, see. We’re, we’re on the same page here, you know, it’s like that meme, same hat or
Quinn: another social media trend I’m like, yes. Oh!
Shelby: Yeah, so, so it’s like, I think it came from like a comic or a manga or something, and it’s like one guy wearing a hat and like a trench coat and it’s a guy on the other side of the road with the same hat and like a trench coat and they’re like, “same hat!”
um, So welcome, welcome to my brain. And I could also really see your mental health background in it. Like as you were talking, I was like, oh yes, I know this. Like, uh, yes, like, and the way that you weave though the spirituality with it, because mental health very much teaches like some amount of,
Shelby: You guys can’t see it, but I’m drawing like, I’m using my hand to kind of make like a, a delineation in front of myself. Right. And while can be very important, right. Because we don’t need enmeshment sort of things. Right?
Shelby: Um, it is very different as you’ve talked about, being in that space with somebody. Right. You can’t not be human in that space.
You can’t, and especially if you’re in that meditative state with them. It’s like you’re energetically
Shelby: In it with them. You can’t not feel those things.
Quinn: I love that you got that, that that part was the energy work. Yeah. Yeah.
Shelby: No, I was like, yes.
Quinn: Yeah. Didn’t explicitly say it, but that’s the energy work part. That’s the spiritual part.
Shelby: Yeah. Yep. Because that’s similar to what I do, but different, like you’re in it with them going through it and I’m usually in it, describing it to them. Um, so I love how you bring them into it, versus like you are the one doing all of the processing. You’re the anchor and they’re kind of moving through the experience.
Shelby: Yeah. And it was like a, a co-discovery, if you will, of like the things that are going on within them, which I loved. Like you were like, we’re, we’re doing it together. Like I’m trying light, and they’re like talking like, oh, does this fit? Like, what is this? And it’s like, I’m like, oh, that’s like reflective listening.
Like here we are, like, you know, um, you know, like those skills, but, you’ve done a really beautiful job, I think, of weaving it together with the spirituality and everything, and, um,
Quinn: thank you.
Shelby: You’re welcome. It’s, it’s definitely a skill. It’s, it’s a skill for sure. And so I want to highlight that and recognize you for that, is that it is really, truly a skill to bring these things together.
Quinn: It’s actually the hardest of my sessions. Like for me to deliver on. Hardest as in like, it’s my pleasure. Hardest as in, most amount of emotional labor. I do find when these sessions are done, whoo! So am I. Do more than one in a day? I don’t think I could. I’ve only ever done one in a day. They’re, they’re a marathon and there’re a lot of work for me.
Um, but they’re the kind of work I love doing. So it’s, it’s definitely pleasurable. It fills my cup. Um, but it definitely is not easy.
Quinn: I remember the first time I did it, I was like, we went into the somatic spot and I was like, Quinn, stay the anchor. Cause I was like, this is a lot more challenging when it’s someone else, when it’s not you than I thought it would be. But no, I, I just, I, it was definitely something that I knew I could do and, and the more I’ve practiced it, the better it’s become and the more comfortable I’m becoming with it. But I love that you noticed that it is a skill because Yeah. It’s not just something that I, I do quick and easy.
Like it, it’s a lot of thought that goes in, well, a lot of thought went into engineering it in the first place, but then doing it is a lot of emotional, psychological, energetic, spiritual labor, honestly. But it’s worth it.
Shelby: I mean, it really sounds like it.
Quinn: Yeah. I sometimes sweat. My arms will start sweating. I’m like, Ooh, we’re working .
Shelby: Yeah, you’re like, we’re in it. It’s like, yes. Yeah. Um, and I want to. I also like, as you were talking about it, I’m like, why did I also wanna highlight this? And it’s not just because like, I, like, I wanna recognize you, like Quinn is an amazing human being and deserves recognition.
Like I feel like we should give each other recognition. Um, but on top of that, like the way you described it made it sound kind of easy and like, like, oh, I could just go do that. But it you like, this is a skill and I really wanna highlight that Quinn has background in mental health, like, you know, training in counseling, in trauma informed therapies in these things that is part of the Building Block foundation here.
Shelby: So, and then also trained in spirituality. And I know we’ve talked about like personally sometimes the, the indirect harms that can come out of not practicing carefully or authentically or various things. Right. In integrity, because people are in vulnerable states, right?
Quinn: Especially with this. Yes.
Shelby: Yes. So this is a skill. It is deep. And I am sure if you go in for money mindset as we like, as we know, like when I talk about it, it’s so much more than just money mindset. It’s worth, it’s uh, how you be in the world, how you relate to resources and how you relate then to other people because it’s not just about resources, it’s about other people as well.
And so I’m sure if you go to Quinn for this and you guys touch on money mindset, like it is, it’s gonna be deep. And it’s gonna be so much more, um, because that tangled ball that we talked about, right? Like, it, it just, yeah. It tangles with everything. So, um, So I know you do have a freebie to kind of give people a start of this.
Shelby: Um, and I like, not ironically, but like, funny enough, like of course, right? Like in this, like of course it’s titled this Worthy.
Shelby: Oh, okay. Please, please tell us about Worthy.
Quinn: Yeah. Oh, sorry. I got so excited to cut you off.
Shelby: No, no, no. Let’s go. We’re both excited.
Quinn: Um, no, I loved when you mentioned that money is also worth. Hence why my masterclass about this is called Worthy because our relationship with money, as we’ve ta- as you just mentioned, as we’ve been talking about on this, um, it’s so much more than just your relationship to money. It is your relationship to resources. It’s your relationship to recognition, social status.
And I touch on in the masterclass, which is my freebie, I touch on the father wound because I see this as being like the archetypal root behind it. It doesn’t mean that it came from per se your father, like for all of us, we have different family dynamics. You could have a mother who played the role of both mother and father.
She was a single mother. You can have, um, a situation where your mom is actually more of the patriarch in a sense. Like she’s playing more of that traditional masculine role. And so it, it doesn’t mean it has to be like something coming from your father. It’s not about blaming the father. It’s just that this stems from what our society, archetypically associates with fatherhood, which is social status, recognition, money, um, yeah. Those, those things where you’re going out to achieve. And all of us have a different relationship to that, and a lot of times money can trigger that relationship.
And with my work with wounds, I like to look at it as an opportunity to better know yourself. So it’s not fixing yourself, it’s not going into the dark looking, looking for trauma. It’s addressing the wound when you’re ready, according to your capacity, so that you can meet yourself at your depths. Very often, our deepest self is kind of shrouded in shadows because that’s not always where we’re looking, and so it’s, it’s meeting yourself at your depths and in Worthy.
I teach that a wound is both the memory, maybe it’s a traumatic memory. Maybe it’s not, maybe it’s an emotionally charged, maybe it’s an emotionally charged memory. That, but it’s also wisdom. When we visit that wound and we witness it and we give it the space it needs to be heard out, very often, there is then wisdom that is revealed, and that’s why I love shadow work, wound work, mental health work, like all of those things that are a little more on the foundational and like darker end of the spectrum because there is so much growth.
Like we’re so worried. I, I find that there’s a narrative, a popular narrative right now with our society just in general, where success is seen as something we’re, we’re looking at the bloom of the rose rather than the roots. We want to go out and get more. We wanna achieve more, we want to be better, be more, and very often growth actually comes from, Taking a break from that for a moment, and tending to the roots and being like, how can I be more of what I already am?
Because so much of what you already are has untapped potential within it that you might not know about until you visit some of these shadows, these wounds, and discover things about yourself and wisdom from within yourself that you, yourself, from your life experiences created. And so much growth comes from that space and it allows you to hold so much more in terms of receiving income.
And I think that one of the big reasons why, I know I shared at the beginning of this, that the main trigger for me isn’t managing money. It’s earning it. So that’s like where my father would comes in and so much of the time, um, I think that the reason why earning is uncomfortable sometimes for us, or it could be managing the money, but why money can be uncomfortable sometimes is that we feel like it is a signification of our worthiness.
And it’s not. But, this can get, this wound there, this, uh, these narratives can get tangled with each other.
Quinn: My self worth equals how much I’m making.
Quinn: Because how much I’m making means how much I’ve been chosen by other people, how much I’ve been hired, how much social status I have. So therefore my level of worthiness equals my level of income.
And this can create a bit of a self-defeating loop because, if you need income to feel worthy, but you need worthiness in order to do what it takes to make money, you kind of end up stalling out in a sense. And the these like closed loops, that tends to be where, that’s really where I see the wound.
Like where there’s a closed pattern, I see at the center of it, there’s a wound, and in that wound is the space to, you know, is the opportunity to see things differently, grow, expand, and redefine your relationship with money. So that’s what the free masterclass is all about, is looking at this dynamic within ourselves and redefining your relationship with money.
And I, I go into a little bit of a rose method thing in the masterclass as well, so you got like a little taster of the rose method and I like guide it in that masterclass in a way where you can do this for yourself. So it’s, um, a very empowering way to start to dive into this work and really deepen your relationship with money without – what I like about doing it this way, like mindset work and affirmations have their place, but sometimes I feel like there’s this like forceful feeling you get with them.
Shelby: Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes. It’s like the, the like, fake it till you make it. Like you, you gotta push, you gotta push it. And it’s like, no, no, no.
Quinn: No fighting. Yeah. Like, I’m like saying the affirmation about my body’s like, no. And then I’m like, but yes. And my body’s like, but no. So what I think about this approach is you stop fighting yourself, you stop fighting your body, and you meet it where it’s at. Hear it out, and tap into new levels of wisdom and growth from the roots, which creates space for you to experience deeply rooted success with a really deep foundation.
Shelby: That totally reminds me of a quote from Carl Rogers. Um, yeah. He, what, what it’s, the paradox of healing or of growth is that once you accept something, then it, then it changes. Um, yeah, some, something along those lines. I am very much paraphrasing here. Um, but yeah, that, it just, it just totally reminded me of that, like,
Quinn: I love that, cause I pride myself on being a humanistic, like I’m not a psychologist per se, but I’m a psychologist informed coach.
Quinn: And yeah, humanistic psychology has always been like, One of my cornerstones for my approach. So I love that you brought that up.
Shelby: Nice. Perfect. Same here. It, it’s like, because we’re human, like just as we were talking about before this, it’s like we’re human.
Shelby: And it’s meeting us at our humanity. Yeah. , um, rather than like –
Quinn: -my clients, I just realized that. Yeah. Like in these sessions, whether it’s mental clarity or these, these sessions where I use the rose method, I always say like, this work is the work that makes being human humanity. Like this is what makes being a human, a human.
Shelby: Yay. Oh my gosh. Of course. Of course you do, because of course.
Quinn: It’s so Quinn.
Shelby: Oh, I love it. I have had so much fun talking.
Quinn: Me too.
Shelby: Um, I do wanna highlight that if you want to go experience the Worthy Masterclass, explore those patterns behind linking self-worth with the amount of money you make and how to change this pattern for more peace with money, because like, of course, right?
Uh, that’s what all of this is all about. You can also find that at the, the link mentioned earlier, which I will tell you again, https://bio.site/quinndownie, Q U I N N D O W N I E. And again, that link will be in the show notes and I’m just gonna like, toot our horn here for a second that I think it’s so complimentary.
The work that we do, like, if you like the journal, you will more than likely probably go like this. Um, and if there’s things that come up for you during this, more than likely journaling on them will probably give you some insight too. Like it’s very complimentary, so.
Shelby: Like if you, you like the things that I talk about, if you like the podcast, please go check this out. Um, if you are, I know we, I tend to not touch too much on the spirituality, even though it’s very much there in the sessions when I do them. Um, this is a wonderful compliment to that. So if you’re like, mm, I need a little bit more of that, go, go, go click that link. Go tap it. Whatever you know you’ve got going on with whatever device you’re using, like, go. Go do it. Um,
Quinn: Tap, run.
Shelby: Yes, roll, whatever it is. Like, get there, go do it. Um, because this, it is, as we’ve mentioned, so tangled, so integral to everything. And if you run a business, Because, you know, I spoke mostly to entrepreneurs.
Um, but yeah, you too. Uh, but also like we live in societies that are capitalist consumerist societies. You need money for basic necessities to live, right? So whether you’re an entrepreneur, you have a nine to five job, you’re working retail, whatever it is, there are narratives. I say programs around money.
So please, please do yourself a favor. Tap into this. Do all of us a favor, because it doesn’t just affect you, right? Like this affects all of us, like as we all change our relationship to money, we all change our relationship to each other, and that is, that is some magic too. That that is, that is some magic as well.
So please go enjoy and thank you so much Quinn. Do you have anything else that you would like to add at the end here?
Quinn: Uh, just thank you so much for, for inviting me to have this conversation. It sounds like we both, like you said, like compliment each other really well. Um, like when you mentioned the Rose, like inviting me to talk about the Rose method, I, it, it hit me like how perfect this is with money mindset and then of course with Worthy being literally about the Rose method plus money mindset, it’s just being so perfect.
I mean, I love the relationship that you and I have, so no matter what I would be here, but I just can’t get over how, how well this all like came together and like the timing of it. So just thank you so much for inviting me to have this conversation on your podcast. It’s been such a pleasure, honestly.
Shelby: Thank you. Thank you. Uh, one You’re welcome. But also really thank you. Um, thank you for gracing us with this healing because like, just listening to this like, we’re gonna have healing from this, right? And whether people choose to go deeper in whatever way they choose, it is amazing. Um, so again, thank you so much.
Thank you for being here. And please again, click the links in the show notes. Go visit Quinn on her social medias. Go take the masterclass. Tell us how you like it. Um, And let us know on social media what you took from this. Um, you know where to find us. You’ve got the links, shout us out, tell us about it.
And, um, we will, I’ll see you in the next episode and I’m sure you’ll see Quinn on the interwebs, and I’m so excited to see where this takes you all.