Thank you for listening to episode 7 of the money mindset shift! Today we’re talking about the 1 thing that almost always comes up when dealing with money mindset – hint: it’s a big one! – and I’m going to share with you tips on how to address it.
The programs we receive about money are rarely just about money. We don’t exist in a vacuum, nor do these programs. Sometimes they are like a strand of yarn, sometimes a thick strand with multiple strands woven together, and sometimes they are like a hydra and split into various ends. And all of these get tangled together.
the simple strand, the thick strand with multiple strands, and the hydra that’s been fraying and splitting apart.
So, it really isn’t a surprise that when we work on our money mindset and unravel these programs, that other things crop up.
And I think the one that I see crop up the most often is self worth!
We’ve touched on it before, but let’s put a spotlight on it today.
Here in the United States, and probably elsewhere across the globe – money can be very tied to our worth.
If we have money – then we are worthy of being desired. We are given attention.
If you don’t have money or if we don’t have money – then we aren’t worthy of even basic necessities or human kindness.
If we worked retail or a corporate job – you are said that you are paid your worth. You’re told by your boss “we pay you based on what you are worth to the company.” Your earnings are a reflection of your value to the company. And sometimes you aren’t valued, you are told that you are replaceable, flat out.
I don’t think I’ve had this direct experience where someone has flat out told me that. But a lot of people have. And you can see it in the hiring practices and how things go in a lot of companies. You’re let go, and for various reasons, and sometimes it is because they can hire someone that is cheaper or someone they can convince to receive less money for their worth.
If you work for yourself and run a business – you may have been told to charge your worth. (Also like, how do you quantify something so innate? Like how are you supposed to quantify your worth and your value? Just food for thought.)
When we highlight some of these areas where self-worth and money meet – it is no wonder that it tends to crop up when we begin to shift our relationship with money.
So then like, what do we do about it? How do we address this tightly woven connection between money and our self worth?
Well, we have to start with pulling the strings apart. Those strands of yarn, we have to pull them apart.
You are inherently worthy just because you are. You exist. You deserve and are worthy of your needs being met and the opportunities to fulfill your desires freely. Your worth is really, in that way, is not something that can be quantified or measured. Which is why when somebody is like “Well just charge your worth” you are like “Uuhhh, okay but what is that?” Because it is so hard to quantify. And I really don’t think that we can. I don’t think we can measure our worth.
The money you are paid, the money you make – it says nothing about your worth, because it could never accurately measure it. It can’t stand up to it. There is just no way.
But once we pull these strands of worth and money apart, we like to put them somewhere. And I challenge you not to attach them to anything else.
And here is what I mean by that.
Your worth isn’t tied to your health, your achievements, or anything else. So keep it separate from those things. You are worthy just because you are. Period. Full sentence. Full belief. Full meaning. We don’t have to attach our health, or our achievements, or something else to our worth. We just get to be worthy.
I know that is hard to do given that a lot of societies will tell you things about your worth because of who you are and they will treat you differently based on that.
And there is a reason for that – I was going to say there is a good reason for that, it’s not a good reason. There’s a reason for that because when we do that we then can be less worthy than we inherently are. We can perceive ourselves and be perceived as less worthy, less human, less deserving and thus the things that societies and structures do to us, the oppression, is then justified or considered to be justified. Right?
So I challenge you not to attach your worth to anything else. You are just inherently worthy and you are just worthy because you are.
But that also means that money isn’t tied to anything either.
We’ve pulled the two strands apart or maybe there are multiple strands there. We’ve pulled them apart and now they are wholly separate and on their own.
Money doesn’t reflect your work ethic, it doesn’t reflect how valued you are by a company, it doesn’t reflect what someone thinks about your work, your value, your whatever, about your business or anything.
And it doesn’t reflect then how much God, the Universe or some other entity or deity loves you or deems you worthy or cares about you.
The pressure then around those things then releases and at least a little bit, hopefully a lot more than a little bit. But then so does the money pressure. Our worth pressure. The pressure to work super hard and prove your worth. All of these things then fall away.
And we can breathe again, or breathe a little bit more than we could before.
Because of this money then becomes something you get to have because you do. Period. Full sentence. Full thought. Full belief.
So to handle the tangling of self and money together, we detangle them. We begin to recognize our own inherent worth – that we are worthy just because we are. And then money just gets to be a resource rather than a signifier of worth.
And here are some journaling prompts that I would like to share with you that you can dig in with and get started.
So first, #1. If your self worth was inherent and an innate part of who you are, what would that mean? And to expand on that further, if it could not be reduced, if you could not lose value for whatever reason, what would that mean?
And the second one is how can you recognize your own inherent worth? What would it look like to know and feel that you are inherently worthy of your needs being met and being able to fulfill your desires?
And the third one and last one – if money was simply a resource, what would that mean? What would that mean in general? What would that mean for you? And you can even expand on this if you are even feeling like you want to go there – what would mean for society? That’s a bit what I mean by like “what would that mean in general” like a bigger picture. But you can really go deep and kinda take a big bird’s eye view.
So I’ll repeat these for you again.
If your self worth was inherent and an innate part of who you are, what would that mean? Two, how can you recognize your own inherent worth? What would it look like to know and feel that you are inherently worthy of your needs being met and being able to fulfill your desires?
Then the third and last one – if money was simply a resource, what would that mean? What would that mean in general? And what would that mean for you?
So get out your journal and share with us what insights you gain! You can reach out to us and tag us on Instagram @shelbymelissa or instagram.com/shelbymelissa. And we have that link for you in the show notes.