17. What hasn’t been working – The Comparison Trap
*I swear in this episode
In the last two epsidoes, we’ve discussed things that haven’t been working and the shifts that you can take if you find yourself in a similar situation. This episode, I am sharing with you the next one in the series – the comparison trap.
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Transcription
In the last two episodes, we’ve discussed things that haven’t been working and the shifts that you can take if you find yourself in a similar situation. This episode, I am sharing with you the next one in the series – the comparison trap.
It is so easy to get caught up in looking at what other people are doing.
There is some amount of knowing what is going on that can be very important. It allows for self-reflection and can create some motivation.
And inspiration! I almost forgot that one!
All of this is very important. And we are communal beings. All of us to some extent or another. That includes you and I. We look to other humans. We want to be a part of things. We want the benefits of community.
But the comparison trap can sneak in. I think social media makes this pretty easy. We see the highlight reels. We see the successes.
But we don’t see the struggles or the difficulties.
I got stuck in that comparison trap of seeing the highlight reel of where people are at. Living the things that I want to achieve.
It did help to motivate me. But it also fed desire, which became heavy, because I wanted to be there already. (This goes back to pushing, which I spoke about in the last episode.)
The desire was getting so heavy and I was feeling that pressure. I began to push, and I also got hooked on seeing their lives. Which brought the association of success and the things I wanted. And it furthered the spiral.
But this had to stop.
And it really came to one poignant moment.
I was on a group call with my business coach. And when responding to someone else, she asked us what freedom looked like for her. And repeated the question for all of us to think about. “What does freedom look like for you?”
So, I focused on freedom and what that looks like for me.
I first began to journal on what that meant and looked like.
Here is something I wrote:
“Living close to the ocean and being able to go to the beach whenever I want. Playing video games. Seizing the warm weather. Sitting by the pool.”
What this really synthesizes down into is the space and flexibility to be spontaneous.
In addition to journaling, I began to unfollow people on Instagram. I was in a space where I needed to pull back into me. That meant seeing less of what hundreds of other people were doing.
This not only allowed space for me to focus on me, but to come back into my why. Why I am doing business. Why I am working towards the life that I am.
And here’s what it came down to:
To change the status quo around the way we do money, business, and life.
And that is my motivation. My focus. My drive. Especially right now.
So – when you find yourself in the comparison trap, I invite you to reflect on these 3 things. Did you catch what they were?
1. What does freedom look like for you?
2. What can you do to detach from the things feeding that comparison cycle?
3. Get back to your why. What is it? How can you make it more of a focus?
I wouldn’t say these 3 things have to be done in any particular order. This was just the order that happened to unfold for me.
But they really go hand in hand.
You probably started a business because you saw that you could create an impact in the world. Because you could be a catalyst in other people changing their own lives. And part of that probably included freedom.
The system as it is, doesn’t allow for a whole lot of freedom for many of us. And is designed that way because it needs “good little workers” – people who will work day in and day out. And you know what helps ensure people won’t just leave, or that they will be willing to trade their labor for less than survivable wages?
Oppression. Debt. Being sold that there is only one way to do things. False scarcity. And getting sucked into that comparison trap.
But you, you have found a crack in that system. And you are widening it for your clients and your audience so they too can break free from this.
Continue to break free of the comparison trap and create opportunities for a more free way of living.
Try these 3 things, and also grab the FREE Affirmations + Reminders for Boss Bitches for more tools on dealing with comparison! The link is in the show notes!
And as always, keep creating that change. Keep coming back to your why. Keep finding and widening those cracks in the system so that we can all (including yourself) live a more free life. One with abundance. One with more than enough. One with opportunities not just for survival, but for pursuing our desires. You are a part of this change.
And as I always say, let’s continue to create shift together.
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