26. Interview with Melissa: Money Mindset, Programs, and Vulnerability
In this episode, I interview Melissa, a previous Cirque du Soleil acrobat turned postpartum doula, energy worker and intuitive business coach for doulas. By addressing the stories she held around money, Melissa went from feeling constricted by money, to supported in her business and her personal life. As always, give it a try and see what works for you, and leave what doesn’t!
Here are the links to get in contact with Melissa!
Website: https://www.theatlantappd.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.atlanta.postpartum.doula/
Join the Wellness and Business Collective: https://www.theatlantappd.com/membership-info
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Transcription
Shelby: Welcome! I am so excited because today we have Melissa. Melissa is a previous Cirque du Soleil acrobat turned postpartum doula, energy worker and intuitive business coach for doulas. In fact, the wellness and business collective is open. This is a membership suite that Melissa has created for birth professionals to feel supported and confident in coping with the most common challenges of entrepreneurship as a birth professional and doing this all in an intuitive wellness-minded way. You can find it at theatlantaPPD.com/membership-info. Melissa is a wife, mother to two, and one on the way. So P.S. by the time this airs that one on the way may be born. So keep your eye out. She also resides in Georgia in the United States, and you can learn more about Melissa and her work on her website, theatlantappd.com and on Instagram, where you can keep an eye out for that birth announcement @the.Atlanta.postpartum.doula, all the links will be available in the show notes. So don’t worry about trying to write all that down. We’ve got you. So I’d like to welcome Melissa.
Melissa: Hello!
Shelby: Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today to talk about money mindset and your business. I love talking to you and I think you’re amazing as a side note. I might be a little biased, but I’m really excited to first talk about what money mindset means to you. So like how you might explain it to your clients or students just like anybody.
Melissa: Sure. Um, and I want to say thank you so much for having me here. I’m really excited to be spending this time here with you and sharing more about money mindset, because it has made such a huge impact in my life personally and in my business.
So yeah. What does money mindset mean to me? You know, if you would have asked me about a year ago before you and I worked together, I would have just said, well, you know, it’s what I, it’s how I view money. It’s what I think about money. Which is a pretty, you know, simple explanation. But after working with you, that definitely shifted a lot. And what I realized was I have never actually thought about money and the concept of money.
So for me, money mindset means examining what your concept of money is and looking into what it means for you. Gathering information on the stories that you have created or have been given to you around money, the feelings that money brings up for you and the impact that all those pieces create on your physical life, which is huge. And to not have even thought about any of those pieces before working with Shelby seems silly almost. You know? but we haven’t been taught. We have not, we don’t have a system in place that teaches us how to view money and how it is actually supportive to us, how we can create it to be supportive. So the biggest takeaway I got with working with Shelby, I mean that this is, this is the honest truth of it, is that money is neutral. It’s not good. It’s not bad. It just is. And to learn about money in that way, you can then learn how to create new stories, new pathways, to have money support you for your business and your personal life. That was a big explanation, but honestly, that’s what money mindset means to me now.
Shelby: I think, I don’t know. I might have to steal it because I love your explanation. I’ll credit you obviously, but like …
Melissa: You can take it.
Shelby: I love it. Um, Yeah, I’m just like, people can’t see it, but I’m over here, like fanning my face cause like I’m tearing up a little bit. Like that was so beautiful and it was so great. And I really, I think for all business owners at the end of the day, like the impact that you create in the world is like a big reason why we do this. And so to like, hear it reflected back is just amazing. So take this for everybody as an invitation, just to go, like tell people like your own coaches, other podcasts you listen to, books you’ve read, just like leave, leave a review, send a DM, whatever. Just like how much you love them.
Um, cause that that’s so important. It’s hard work. So. So thank you for that.
I, I love how it expanded. Because it is not just how we think about money or like conceptualize money. There’s so much that kind of goes into that concept that we don’t talk about, or we’re not taught to talk about or think about or reflect on. And a lot of those programs that we do receive come from the other examples that we see in society. So like what people are doing with it, how people speak about it. Um, and then also how like the systems are built and your access to it. So you like, that’s part of the reason why we get so many different stories from different people is because like they all have different experiences.
And then, like comes together in this con-jumbled mess with inside ourselves. And we’re like, oh, this, this is just how it is. But in reality, like it’s, it’s neutral. Those are just like the stories and the examples and the things that we’ve seen. Those are the programs. So I love that. Like your understanding of money mindset has shifted to include that.
Um, it’s, I won’t, don’t want to say it’s complex, but it’s nuanced now in a way that, like, when we don’t know about something, I’m thinking of like, is it the Dunning Kruger effect that has like the little, like, uh, the little graph and like the wave? Um, where, like, when we don’t know about something, like, we don’t know. Right? And then as like we gain knowledge, we like start to think, we know, and then like, we actually come to understand that we don’t really know. I think that’s what it is. But like, I think of that graph and like, when we don’t really know, our understanding can be very simplistic, which is fine. Like sometimes that’s what we need.
And then once we start to learn about something, even if it’s running a business as a birth professional, we realized like, there’s a lot more nuance going onto it. Like, yes, there’s very simplistic pieces, but there is nuance. Um, and I think that like anything like for any other entrepreneur listening to this, or, you know, if you’re not an entrepreneur listening to this, like you probably have an area of competency that you know about. And you’re like, yup, yup. When people try to tell me about rocket science, I personally could tell you nothing about it, but like you’re like, yeah, it’s a lot more nuanced. So I love that you brought that up, Melissa.
Melissa: Awh thank you. Yeah, and I think the biggest takeaway though, was just examining what money means to you. And when you’re able to take it to a neutral space, then you’re able to shift as you desire. Which is super, super useful because you no longer have programs and stories telling you what you feel about money, you get to decide. And as an entrepreneur, that is so relieving. It’s freedom as well as of course, in your personal life. This is a huge stepping stone towards freedom. Especially because in America it’s really normal to live in high amounts of debt. And that’s our norm. And so knowing that money is neutral and it can be supportive to us. How does that feel in your body? Just knowing those two things. It’s huge. It’s huge. So. Yeah.
Shelby: I love that. I love that you brought the body into it because I think that’s a big indicator of like, um, it’s um, how we feel about things and like how we process things. It’s like another way to like, understand what’s going on inside of ourselves.
And I think you’ve led us very beautifully into my second question for you, which is like the last question I have, but we’ll obviously keep talking. Um, and that is, how did doing the money mindset work change your life and your business? So you can talk about one or both or the other. Um, I know you mentioned freedom already, but are there other ways that you saw this impact change? Like how this impacted your life and how
this change was created? Are there examples or what other words could you use to describe that?
Melissa: Yeah, when I first thought about this question, it really meshed together because business and personal life are pretty similar. Especially as an entrepreneur, they just kind of blend in, uh, most of the time.
Shelby: Yeah.
Melissa: And the biggest impact it had was that I choose now, after taking, you know, working together, I choose to see money as supporting me versus tight and we don’t have enough and it’s bad. There’s this really rampant concept that money is bad. That having a lot of money is bad. Or maybe that’s just my own story, but I see it often.
And so now I get to choose to release that story and I get to see money as supportive to my business, to my family, to our personal finances. And yeah, that does give myself a lot of freedom. I notice big shifts just with conversations that my husband and I have. And simply shifting our conversations about bills, for example. We have to let, we all have our bills that we pay each month. Right? And instead of viewing those bills as, oh my gosh, I have to pay this this month. I view it as I am so thankful that the power is on and that we have heat in the winter time. And I’m appreciative of this. And because we have shifted little things like that, it allows for money to be supportive.
Just as that, that alone allows for support versus the tight restriction. And because we have raised ourselves in that way, it allows for more to come in, if that makes sense.
Shelby: Yes. Yes, absolutely. I mean, obviously it makes sense to me. Um, but we’ll explain a little bit more too. So, it’s, for people who are listening, who may not understand that concept, it’s a bit like when there’s resistance, we close off the ways in which we can receive. One, because we’re closed off to perceiving the ways in which we can receive. And we’re not as receptive to actually receiving. So like if somebody came up to you and was like, Hey, I want to pay for your services, um, but I actually want to give you a like, like a thousand dollar bonus on top of it. Well, like many people are like, wait, no, you can’t do that. Right? Um, and that’s because we like, and I’m coming from the place that like, everybody like listening to this is compassionate people. So that’s because we’re compassionate people and we know how much money can change someone’s life. Right. And a lot of times that thousand dollars is, um, maybe a mortgage payment, maybe a car payment, maybe groceries for the month. You know, it’s like one less thing that you have to think about. And so when we think of receiving it in that way, we also think of somebody giving that up, which isn’t necessarily true.
Um, but there’s like that pieced together. So when we’re able to disconnect and see money as something a little bit more neutral and work on these programs, we’re able to receive and thus also be grateful. So now we’re like, fantastic. You are able to give me that bonus of a thousand dollars for paying for my services? Great. Thank you so much. You know, and like, yes, now I can forward pay whatever bills or what, you know, like whatever you choose to do with that money. Um, but yeah, it’s, it’s so like, it’s just that like shift. And so I love how it has permeated from the business. Cause I know we focus a lot on business, but like, business feeds directly into life. Right? That business money pays the bills. Right? So there’s no way to separate out those things. And, um, so I love that.
Like, it kind of meshed for you because like, I think that’s reality. Like we like to put our lives into these distinct areas, like boxes. Like that’s business. That’s family. That’s, you know, my personal like friend life. Right? But it’s all connected because it’s still all you and they impact each other. Our brains just think it’s a little bit easier to think of these things as solitary entities. So I really appreciate you bringing that up. I like that.
Melissa: Yeah. And I think too, the other piece that comes up for me is around vulnerability. Because even just now sharing this on a podcast, a public platform, it brings up that vulnerability about talking to someone else and a larger audience about money. Because we are taught not to do that. We’re not taught how to discuss money in a way that’s healthy. And to be okay being vulnerable sharing that with someone is not easy. But when we are able to be vulnerable about money and get clear and, you know, examine how we feel about money for real, that’s when you can shift and big changes can happen.
Shelby: Yeah. Oh my gosh. That is so true. I love that you brought up vulnerability. Um, I honestly wasn’t even thinking about that at this time. So I love that, that you brought it up. I’m sure I’ve thought about it at some point, but, you know, brains and thoughts and they go *explosion sound*. Ao that, that is a really big thing. It is being vulnerable and that is hard. It is hard.
Um, you just like made me reflect on like doing this work myself, like in sharing it, like, is immensely vulnerable and it is really difficult. And we can even say that about entrepreneurship as a whole, because like, my goodness! Like, it feels like your mistakes are on a wider stage. Right? Um, like they’re public when in reality, like we don’t all realize those things. Right? Um, but it’s, it feels like that whether or not it’s actually being viewed that way. Right? So it is hugely vulnerable. And yes, coming on here, thank you so much for being vulnerable. Cause it, I mean like, you and I think have a, a wonderful level of comfortability with each other, um, But you’ve also never been on my podcast before. Right? And so it is like, a like amazing, wonderful experience that you’re here, I’m so excited. Um, and at the same time, it is a vulnerable experience. And I think that’s probably a huge part of the reason why, like, there’s a lot of resistance to this work.
And as you said, we do get those programs to not talk about money. Whether you’re in a corporate structure and there’s this culture of like, you don’t talk about your salary, which actually harms all of the workers because now you’re being paid at different levels and whatnot. And like, there are so many stories of like a new hire getting hired in at like a higher rate than somebody who had been there like five, 10 years. Um, and there are stories of, um, like someone getting a promotion, even in a retail sense and like making more than the person who was already in that position.
Um, and like also in retail, because that’s like, where a lot of my experience is, like I know, there is a major retailer and I don’t want them to come at me. Um, but they have, I don’t want them to come at me and I do shop there. So just side note, um, where there is a position that has been created in between the worker and the manager where you’ve like, got some of the managerial, like responsibilities of like, um, setting an example and sort of helping to keep an eye on, an eye on the workers, quote-unquote. Right? But you’re not actually being paid any more. Like you’re the go-to person on your shift. If like your direct manager isn’t in for the area that you work in and you’re not being paid any more. But you’re, you have more responsibilities. I know. It’s, it’s ridiculous. Um, so I know people who are like, no, I’m not going to do that because like why? Um, but yeah, I don’t want that company to come at me, so I’m a little person. I don’t want to be, um, what is, what is the, um?
Melissa: canceled?
Shelby: Yeah, I don’t want to be canceled, but the biblical story, something and Goliath? I don’t like…
Melissa: David and Goliath.
Shelby: Yes! Yes. I don’t even have a, uh, a Slingshot here. So, um, but regardless like, yeah. There is a lot of this culture, not to talk about those things. Right? And then on top of that insight of like family situations, you know, like you grew up and like, maybe your parents didn’t
talk about money, right? Or maybe they wanted, they had the best of intentions and they didn’t want you to be worried about money, so they didn’t talk about it so that it wasn’t on your mind. Right? But then on the other hand, as you grew up, you didn’t have all that knowledge and understanding, right? So like in the scope of like harmful to like best intentions, right? Like we get that, like, don’t talk about money thing. So it is hugely a vulnerable thing and yeah, it does require you to be vulnerable with yourself too. And that. That’s hard. So…
Melissa: yeah, and I really love how you discussed, and you put in the piece about entrepreneurship is also a space of being very vulnerable. It’s extremely challenging in that way to continue to show up, to make mistakes. Like you mentioned, because as an entrepreneur, you will make mistakes. Some things will land. Some things will not. And yeah, money is that same thing, because what I’ve learned too is even though I have I worked on my money mindset, I’ve shifted a lot, I’ve grown and expanded a lot, I still have a constant relearning because there are many layers that go with it. There are many, you know, systems, programs that I peel off one by one. And as you go a little bit deeper, there’s still more work to be done. And it, it’s, it feels really vulnerable to get back to that place again where you thought you had already accomplished it, you’ve already tackled it. You’ve checked it off the list. Like, yes, my money mindset is great! And then you’re back at square one. And you’re like, oh my gosh, I feel it again, because it is so much in your body.
It really truly is. So I, I just love that, you know, the parallels of money mindset and entrepreneurship, and the vulnerability with both, because it’s the same for entrepreneurship. You’re going to have really big highs and also some lows where you’re relearning and new layers come about. And I do believe eventually it balances out. It will, they won’t be so high and so low. But yes, lots of vulnerability and a lot of relearning that happens as you peel back more layers.
Shelby: I love that. And I love that as like a, an ending message. Like, it’s like keep going. It, it can be hard. It can be beautifully wonderful at times. It’s vulnerable and it’s so rewarding because of that vulnerability too. That like, and it, you will come back to a new layer and you’re like, dang it! I’m here again! What the heck? But that’s because we don’t live in vacuums and like things come in facets. Right? And so like the tangle on one cord, maybe in one place, but now it tangles with something else in another space or heck it tangled against itself somewhere. Right? So yeah, we keep doing it. It’s a life, lifelong thing.
Just like, learning is lifelong, just like growing is lifelong. Like this isn’t separate from those things, you know? So yeah. I love that. That’s like a beautiful supportive message you just gave everybody like, keep going. Like, yeah, it’s hard sometimes. It’s vulnerable sometimes. The highs and lows do change and they aren’t always so high or so low. Um, and yeah, it balances out, but it’s also so rewarding. So thank you for that. I like that.
Melissa: Aw, thank you Shelby. This is so much fun.
Shelby: Yeah. I’ve had so much fun too. Is there any, I think, um, one, I think that was a great note to end on, but is there anything else that you wanted to add just as a passing thought?
Melissa: If you are a birth professional and you are interested in money mindset, working with Shelby has been one of the most amazing things that I could have done, not just personally, but also for my business. It’s shifted in more ways than one. And I love doing Reiki with her. I think that that piece that she adds of doing Reiki and business is beyond magical. So if you are in the market for an energy business coach, she is your girl. I highly recommend her. And if you’re looking for any kind of business coaching as a birth professional, in terms of business strategy for the industry, I am, I would love to chat with you.
Shelby: Oh my gosh. I thought you were gonna start with like, come work with me and then you were like, Shelby’s amazing. So like I gave you the thumbs up, like yeah promote yourself. And I was like, oh, that’s so sweet. But yes. So if anybody, I’m gonna just gonna reiterate to like, highlight Melissa, and I’m going to pull back up my notes here. If anybody is looking for a container, which you can feel supported and confident in coping with the most common challenges of entrepreneurship as a birth professional in a way that isn’t just like, straight, like, here’s the facts, but in a way that’s like intuitive and wellness minded, like that actually considers you as a person, please take a look at Melissa’s website and her work. I’m going to drop that again. Just real quick, theatlantappd.com/membership-info. Again, that’s in the show notes. You can get to the rest of her website from there and everything. Melissa is so amazing. Highly recommend her. Love her. Obviously, I’m a little bit biased, but I think that like, I think I can say that still. So thank you so much, Melissa, for joining me and for being on this episode, it has been a joy. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Melissa: Thank you so much, Shelby. I had an amazing time.
Shelby: Yeay! I’m so glad. And thank you everybody for listening to this episode and stay tuned obviously for more.
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